You know when life gets a little bit too hard? When nothing goes your way?
The sun was shinning, spring was coming and the cold wind was slowly fading away. I couldn’t put my finger on it but somehow I ended up crying. Some days it felt like everyday. In the morning – while driving to work. At work – suddenly getting a pinch in my gut and the tears would try to press down on my checks. Or in the evening – crying myself to sleep.
I’m distant, cold and alone. Nobody understands. It’s an indescribable situation and I couldn’t explain it to anyone. The only word I could find describing me was ‘depressed’.
I wanted it all to disappear. I wanted my life to have a meaning. And I still do, but I wouldn’t know where to start with mine. I know we walk this earth for a reason. For some it’s a short life of pleasure, but for us all this is only the test. I like to believe I was born for a reason, to make a change and influence my being by helping others. But there are these times where the reason is getting unclear and it’s all a blur.
I didn’t have a good, decent reason to be sad. I couldn’t complain, but somehow the voice inside me was drowning me with insecurities and helpless thoughts.