Maybe you’re drifting apart for a reason. Those missed calls or dinners where no one ever showed up or bothered to let you know they’re not coming. Maybe it’s for a reason. It’s part of a bigger picture – one that you might not understand right now. Your paths are not the same. You grow up and sometimes you grow apart from the people you once used to be. Even though it saddens your heart to know the truth, you know that the people you’re leaving behind are not good for your future.
Days, weeks and even months go by without a call or text. And you start to wonder if you ever meant anything to these people or were you just a moment in time for them. You find yourself always being the one on the other end, reaching out for contact but they hardly ever seem to find the time for you. And you release it’s a dead end.
A 100 days ago I gave birth to a healthy baby girl. 4920 grams and 50 cm of pure love wrapped into one tiny human being. 3 months later I can see her smiling back at me when I look at her and all of my worries fade away. The world stops for minute and it’s just us. Then the noise from the outside world start tumbling in again but that smile remains. And after 9 long months she is finally kicking her feet of joy and excitement. There is nothing more beautiful and precious than to see your children grow up right beside you. And losing either one of them would be my greatest fear.
Tomorrow will be my first day back at work since going out on maternity leave 3 weeks before my baby girl came. My head is totally ready for it but my heart is still yearning to be with my child. I’m overwhelmed with emotions and don’t really know what to focus on. But I know it will be good for me, and I’m ready to take the leap.
The first Saturday in September, 3 months after giving birth, I’m back at it, and I’m ready.
The last couple of weeks have turned into a blur. All merged into one. I don’t even remember when one stops and the next one starts. I fill my day with tasks & goals so that my time won’t be left meaningless. The one thing I wish I had more of – time. Whilst I know my time is ending, the time of my children are just beginning, God willing. But that makes days like these so much more valuable.
I started my day off like I always do – enjoying a homemade breakfast with my son. Around noon I jumped in the car with my daughter to drive and pick up my friend from work. We enjoyed our afternoon outside, finding a cute cafe were we could sit and chat for a while. The day only got better when we decided to buy two baskets of strawberries and then swing by at home to get my son. Norwegian summer doesn’t last very long so when the weather is good you’ll find most people at the beach, where we also ended up. Even though it took a while to get used to the cold water, it was still nice.
A day to remember. Now I’m hoping that my daughter will fall asleep soon so that I too can catch some Zzzz. Good night.
I find it extremely challenging to find modest clothing in ‘regular stores’. Either things are too short, see-through or are just not covering enough. But with a bit of smart thinking and layering, you can get there. And when retailers make it so easy that the fit is already loose and modest, well then you’re half way there already.
Use code: summer19 to get 25% off at Lindex, online and in store. Valid from 21-23.June 2018.
1) Striped jumpsuit 2) Black dress 3) Orange dress 4) Denim skirt 5) Yellow pants 6) Green dress
Both my babies are in bed now, even though it happened to get a bit earlier for my son. But since he missed his afternoon nap today he was eagerly asleep once we put him down. It’s been 11 days since our little girl arrived and the days are slowly flying by. My due date was just four days ago but I’m so glad she came early. I don’t know what I would have done if I’d go another minute of being pregnant. I’m enjoying every moment of being a mom of two, trying to find our new routine and having lots of family time. I know a labor & delivery story is still missing from this page and my YouTube, but they are in the works. In the mean time let me reminisces of the things I don’t really miss from my pregnancy.
5 Things I don’t miss from being pregnancy
- Itching all over my growing belly
- Not having any clothes that fit properly
- Seeing new stretch marks
- Not being able to go an hour without using the bathroom
- Having extreme back pain at the end of the day
With that being said, I’m never going to be ungrateful for the miracle I have in my life. After nine long and painful months, she is finally here and I’m so lucky and thankful.
It has been 9 long months but the wait is over. And while I waited for my little baby girl to arrive, I found myself doing various tasks around the house to get the time to pass. As I went along I added things to my to-do list and every time I added something it seemed as if I would never get my list done.
Cleaning the house – several times. Including washing the windows on the inside and outside. Washing our sofa cover. Cleaning the entire kitchen, inside and outside the cabins. And the usual dusting and vacuuming.
Washing baby clothes. I still had some clothes from my son that I though were unisex which I dug out while I simultaneously went through his old clothes and gave some away for donation. I also received a lot of clothes from colleges that needed a wash and some new clothes I bough just for our baby girl.
Sewing. I actually did quite a lot of sewing while I waited for the baby to arrive. I had a list of things I wanted to make and it was a perfect time to get around to it since I had a lot of spare time on my hands. The only tricky part was getting around to cut out all the fabric since my belly was mostly in the way. But I did manage to make a jacket, a bedsheet and up-cycling some old clothes.
Baking. Now I wish I did more of this but manage to make a cake or two, one of which was a delicious carrot cake.
Colouring my hair. The last week I was really bored and scratched my brain to find something to do. I got more and more sick of seeing my dull hair so I ordered some hair bleach and colour. When my products finally arrived I took my hairdressing skills to the test and changed my hair.
Making YouTube videos. Now I knew I wanted to have a little break from filming when the baby arrived so I decided to pre film a couple of videos which I will post soon.
Packing our hospital bag. I waited till I was 35 weeks pregnant to get on with packing the hospital bag. If you want to see the content of my bag I will leave the video link here.
Giving my son a hair cut. Yet again I found my hairdressing skills come to use and actually managed to cut my sons hair twice before the baby arrived. I love seeing him with short, clean cut hair – it makes him look so fresh and young.
we heart it
That’s how I spend somewhat of my time waiting for our baby girl. I also had some shifts at work when they needed me and spent a lot of quality time with our son. Now a new routine awaits us and I’m excited to see what that will mean.
These words are for you
As long as I can remember I’ve wanted to meet you
I don’t ever want you to think you’re not meant to be
Because this was planned by the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful
Wondering who you’ll become
Thinking about our time together
Hoping I can live up to your expectations
Wishing we’ll never fight –
Knowing fully that there will be days
were I’m not going to be your favourite
I pray you’ll never feel restrained by our religion
And grow up to love Islam & Allah
Knowing what our goal is
Because I want to meet you again in Paradise
I hope I can be the one you look up to –
The one you can turn to
I’m going to try my best
but so scared I’ll disappoint you,
that I’ll disappoint myself
Scared of the world you’ll grow up in
Knowing I won’t be able to protect you
After deleting my social media I suddenly remember how my time was spent before using it. How I used to have time to enjoy my meals without scrolling through Instagram. Or how I actually get time to read the blogs I used to love instead of just skimming through to see the pretty pictures. I found myself wasting my precious time – the time we have so little of and that goes by faster each year. At the end of the day it was neither beneficial or good for me. Whether I was posting a new picture, searching for likes and comments, waiting for my next follower. Or scrolling through to find my heart get jealous of what I couldn’t deliver through amazing photography skills or the number of likes I saw flashing in my face.
I need to start focusing on myself in the real world and not the visual concept we call social media.
No one dares to show the real side of life – only chasing likes through double taps.
13th of March 2019 – Shopping & flying home
Our last day had come upon us. After a small breakfast we finished packing and checked out at 11.30 am. We had the whole afternoon because our flight was scheduled to 8.30 pm. We found our way out of our hotel to the nearest street and started walking. There were shops after shops and I tried to visit as many as I could. I ended up buying a black scarf and a oversized denim jacket at a Parisian shop. We also stopped to get some macrons which taste delicious.
We stopped by Zara, H&M, Mango and other high street stores before we settled for lunch at 1 pm after it started to rain. We had our last proper meal in France with success. Time flew by and before we knew it, it was time to make our way back to our hotel to gather our suitcases and head to the airport.
This getaway felt surprisingly longer than only 3 days. I guess I also had someone to look forward to seeing at home which made the departure much easier.
Watch my recap of my Paris holiday here!