This is a story I haven’t told you yet. It is so personal but something I’ve been wanting to share with you.
I had the answer right in front of me, but like so many other people I ignored it. I was stubborn and always thought I would have tomorrow. But you don’t, you only have today, this moment, right now.
I was born and raised in a christian cult. After several years of manipulation and brainwashing, we found our way out. Many souls lost hope, especially the hope in God.
I grew this barrier between religion, because all religion I had heard about was re-written or change by mankind.
I thought I would go on with my life, having the moral compass I had from a young age but also making up my own rules.
However, I never lost hope in God, but my faith was weak.
A couple of years ago I prayed, believing with every inch of my body, that God would show me a way to get closer to Him. And He did but I looked away.
I was ignorant, thinking my faith was enough.
It wasn’t before 2014 when I actually listened.
Islam was something foreign. I grew up to believe that Islam is bad and a hateful religion who suppresses woman. I couldn’t understand why woman would choose to wear a scarf around their head.
Muslim were the people you heard about in the news.
Media thought us that with the word Muslim, the word terrorist comes behind it.
And Allah, He was a different God from my God.
In doubt ever time my heart found peace and it’s truth. I could find so many similarities from what I believed in and Islam. And even when my brain caught up in the realization that this is the truth, that this is the right way, I was scared. I was scared what my family would say, my friends – everyone who knew me.
Time went by and my doubts started to fade away. I saw how Muslims were – peaceful human beings, worshipping One God.
There are in fact 1.6 billion Muslims in the world, and the most practiced religion in the world. These people were not forced or manipulated into believing anything. They simply found the truth.
I started little by little trying to cut out bad habits. I wanted to know that I could make it because I didn’t want to fail if I decided to revert. I stayed at a crosspoint where I either could go left or right. Sometimes I went a little to the left, but ran back again because I felt unease with myself. I came to a point where I needed a push, but nobody around pushed me, I had to push myself towards the last step.
On September 16th two years ago I said my Shahada in a local culture center. At that moment it was as if someone lifted up a ton of bricks that I had been carrying around the last couple of years and I suddenly felt lighter.
The next two days I cried. A lot. A friend of mine said that it’s ok, I was reborn and children cry a lot and I had to take baby steps.
I still feel so lucky that Allah has chosen me. And every puzzle piece I had missed is in place. I have a deeper understand why things happened. Why I went through hardship to get to this stage.
So don’t walk blindly trough life which you know will end. Allah put exactly you on this earth, so that you can go through His tests.
The point is not to be perfect. You will fail, but you will repent and get up again.
It’s a privilege to be chosen by Allah, that Allah wants exactly you with Him in Paradise.
The road is though with hurdles and rocks thrown at you, but the reward is so much greater.
God is always with you, and when you find Him your worries fade away, and you realize that everything is pre-written for you and everything happens for a reason. You find peace in this world. And that is the definition of the word Islam.