You’re suppose to feel this overwhelming sense of joy when you’re pregnant. And anything else would just be unusual.
Well, it’s not. Your body goes through A LOT of changes in only 9 months. And even though you might be the only one knowing it for the first months, you’ll rapidly start to grow and show. And you can’t make your body stop getting bigger. You can exercise and eat as healthy as one only can with daily cravings, but in the end, you’ll get big.
You’ll hear comments like; “You’ve gotten so big. Are you sure there aren’t two in there”. It’s frustrating cause it’s like no one knows what you’re actually going through. And who knows if you’ll ever get back to the size you were before. The invisible pressure is definitely there.
Even as this is my second child I’m much bigger than what I was with my first. I keep telling myself that I’ll get back to my ‘normal’ self and this in it self is a miracle. But as much as it is a miracle, and I am truly grateful to be a mother again, I can’t help to feel like I’m not myself.
I don’t feel sexy in my body, I don’t feel as confident. Most of the time I feel bloated and like I have to pee every hour. I’ll never have my abs back to normal and my bellybutton will most likely not go back to it’s normal self. And I feel guilty for feeling this way. Because my body is getting bigger and I don’t like looking at myself in the mirror, even though I’m creating a human being inside of me.
noun | self-re·spect | self-ri-ˈspekt |
a proper respect for oneself as a human being
Don’t dress up to seek the admiration of other people.
The glances and looks or even stares.
Do you really want this?
You say you want respect but how can you get it,
when all you do is showing your beauty to the outside world for recognition.
You say you want to fall in love with your mind but you only display our body.
I’m already on my second cup of coffee which I usually never drink but today it’s absolutely nesaccary. With only 8 hours of interrupted sleep and a nap where I couldn’t even snooze off for two minutes, it’s safe to say I’m very tired. My body is so stiff and I feel this heavy weight on my shoulders. Probably a mix of stress, too little sleep and in much need of a long massage.
Having a 7 month baby is so much more work then what it was four months ago. I love every minute spent with my son, but I feel like I’m running on my last battery here. When and how I will be able to recharge will only be shown in the future. For now I wanted to share my outfit pictures I took the other day.
Abaya: Norwegen Designer // Pants: Bik Bok // Top: Vero Moda // Hijab: Modanisa // Shoes: Store in Miami
Heath benefits of fasting during Ramadan:
- Detoxes & revitalizes the body
- Blood sugar and blood pressure drops
- White blood cells become more active
- Organs start their repair process
- Getting better concentration
- The body repairs any damaged cells
- Liver, kidney and skin are detoxing
- Last 10 days you get more energy, improved concentration and memory
The 9th month of the lunar calendar is the month of Ramadan.
The month where the Quran was revealed in year 610.
The month where the doors of heaven are open and the doors of hell are closed.
"Recite in the name of your Lord who created -
created man from a clinging substance.
Recite, and your Lord is the most Generous -
Who taught by the pen -
taught men which he knew not".
Make the most of this month and have a blessed Ramadan!
I had to take a minute and regather my strength. I don’t know what happened but a week ago on Friday my body said stop. I had to take a breather and just be. I wasn’t able to do much that day other than to look after myself. I had a headache and felt nauseated throughout the entire day. Luckily with a lot of resting and sleep I was feeling like myself again the next day.
Now a week later, the trees are getting greener and my baby is getting older. I’ve spent most of my days inside because the heat is too real right now. I should be thankful for the wonderful weather we have received but a little cold breeze wouldn’t hurt. I’ve had family over, started reading a new book and figuring out how I can expand my growth on social media. I would love for this blog to be more than just a hobby. But I know I have to give a 110% and unfortunately I don’t have the dedication right now. I guess I don’t know how to managed my time yet, but I’ll get there, hopefully.
You may think I’m oppressed by the way you stare at me. That I’m not free to make my own decision. Maybe you think I’m forced to cover up my beauty.
I guess it bothers you that I choose what to show and withhold from the world. But the truth is that a veil like the hijab represents so much more then what you see.
We don’t lie or steal, drink or smoke. We think before we talk and watch our tongue.
We choose to wear it, to be among the best of people.
I hope one day you can see past my veil and see who I truly am. Because my freedom is not determined whether I show my hair or flaunt my body. And remember that the hijab represents so much more than a cover to your hair.