If you didn’t know already, I never celebrated Christmas. I grew up in a Christian cult and the only thing we were allowed to celebrated was our birthdays. From Easter to Christmas and all in between were forbidden. I always made up lies to tell my friends at school when I was younger. I remember everyone came back from Christmas break raving about their new toys and all the presents they got. And I always felt so out of place, like I didn’t belong. How could I when I didn’t get anything. So I decorated the truth. I scraped together all the small bits and pieces I received during the December month and often said that that was what I got for Christmas. I even told lies about what we did and ate on Christmas eve. I was ashamed of what people might think if I told them the truth. The truth being that I’ve never celebrated it.
Looking back at it know, I see it as a blessing in disguise. I don’t have to say goodbye from a celebration that I never took part of. I don’t have to lie to my family that I cannot make their festivities. Because honestly there are non, even now over a decade after leaving the cult. I don’t have to remove my hijab to fit into their standards. I don’t have to navigate through the dinner to avoid eating pork. Today I saw the huge blessing I was given and somewhat advantage.
My heart goes out to all of you reverts who have found Islam and the beauty in it, but are still trying to navigate your new life with your old. I pray that Allah swt makes it easy for you and softens the hearts of your families so that you don’t have to do something against your religion and faith, to keep familie ties aligned. May Allah swt reward you for your efforts and insha’Allah it will get easier, ameen.
Week by week this is what I did last year.
- Finding out the gender of our 2nd child.
- Punctured a tire on the car.
- Went to the movies w/ my mum & saw ‘Second Act’.
- Visited my friend at her new apartment & brought her salt & bread.
- First night our son slept in his own room.
- 50% on sick leave from work.
- Spent the afternoon w/ my mum.
- Drove to Sweden with the family to buy food.
- Met my friend after not seeing each other for one year.
- My son and I spent a whole afternoon w/ my dad in Oslo.
- Flew to Paris w/ my mum (& my daughter).
- Renovated our new kitchen table from the thrift store.
- Celebrated my mum’s birthday w/ my brother.
- Met my best friends.
- Visited my old school w/ my friend and my son.
- Easter holiday – worked all week.
- Drove to IKEA & went to a fabric store in Oslo alone.
- Food shopping in Sweden w/ the family.
- Start of Ramadan. Watched ‘The Hustle’ at the cinema w/ my mum.
- Started maternity leave.
- 38 week control.
- First Kindergarten visit & visit from my mum. Our daughter was born.
- Eid celebration w/ my husband’s family.
- Visit from my friend & went shopping.
- Food- and kids market w/ my children, mum and brother.
- Met my best friends & celebrated my friend’s birthday together.
- Breakfast at my dad’s.
- 1st motorcycle ride w/ my dad. Met my friend & went to a cafe & the beach.
- Met my friend at her house w/ my kids & her nephew.
- Beach day w/ the family.
- First day in kindergarten for my son & met my niece for the 1st time.
- Shopping day w/ the family. Akvarium visit w/ my mum and the kids.
- Norway’s biggest amusement park w/ my husband’s family.
- Visited an open farm w/ my children.
- Celebrated my 24th birthday w/ my mum, dad, brother, husband and kids. Also bought a new car.
- 1st day back at work.
- Goodbye dinner for a dear colleague.
- 1st time our daughter tried baby food (mashed potatoes).
- Last MC ride of the year.
- Sweden w/ the family – food shopping.
- Gokart w/ my brother & husband.
- Our daughter rolls over for the first time.
- Sunday breakfast at my dad’s.
- Visited a huge soft play area w/ my husbands family and kids.
- Sweden w/ my mum and daughter.
- My son had to go to the doctor’s.
- Met my friend.
- Picked up my mum from the airport. Witnessed a motorcycle crash.
- Brunch at my dad’s.
- Sweden w/ my mum and daughter.
- Cinema w/ my mum – we watched Jumanji: The next level.
- First roadtrip w/ the family to Gothenburg.
This past Monday we celebrated our son’s first birthday. Can you believe a year has gone by so fast? I cannot. I can’t believe my baby boy is one. It seems as if it was yesterday that we rushed to the hospital – a car ride that seemed would never end. And a few hours later he entered this wonder, crazy world. Two days later we were home, all alone, just us three. It was the weirdest feeling in the world suddenly having a tiny human being to take care of. Just you and your partner. But I think we managed quite well, if I may say so myself. Just look at us now, a year later. Still learning but we are an amazing little family and I can’t wait to expand. But for now one is more than enough.
I decorated as little as I could but someone’s first birthday should be celebrated, even though he won’t remember any of it. I guess the celebration was more for me, and maybe also my mum.
I was baking and cleaning since the morning and even though we were only 8 people, I managed to bake up some scones, carrot muffins and a banana bread. All well received, even though the scones looked like bread to be honest. But the banana bread was definitely a success.
I had a slideshow going on in the background on the TV. Pictures all from the day he was born until now. And I also picked out 13 pictures that I hung between two doors with a big one sign over them. He also got a puzzle for 1-4 year olds & a book about ‘Finding Dory’ from my mum, a new toy from my best friend and a sled from my brother and dad.
Hopefully this year things will slow down a bit. Until next year!
My day started off like any other day. No pancakes or coffee in bed even though that’s the ultimate dream. I went on doing some housework and making dinner for my guests that evening.
I was greeted with flowers and a basked full of fruit. At 6pm we started eating my homemade meatballs, chicken with rise and potato salad. Everything tastes twice as good when you know how much effort you put in to it.
We continued on playing uno, heads up and ping pong. And didn’t end up saying good night before 10.30 pm. It was a lovely evening spent with wonderful people.
Till next year.
- Time flies by way too fast. If you’re young, or old, appreciate every. single. moment. Your childhood will fly by so fast. You can’t even blink twice and it will be gone.
- Don’t wish for the day you turn 18 or 21 or whatever, because when that day comes, you’ll most likely wish for your childhood back.
- You’ll probably have one or two really good friends in your life and the rest will only be people you once went to school with and had a good time with. Find and hold on to those one or two good friends because to be honest you really don’t need any more.
- Have a healthy look at death, and life. But mostly death because this is something we don’t like to talk about but it’s so real and we need to prepare for it.
- Cherish your parents, especially your mum. I can never fully understand what hardships my mum has gone through but make it a duty to yourself to make it as easy for her as possible even though you might run out of patience at times.
- Things will most likely never go as you’ve planned
- Don’t worry about making new friends when you get to a new school. In some mysterious way, they will most likely find you.
- Not everyone will like you. And you won’t like everyone either. Some people you connection with and others you don’t, and that’s completely fine.
- So stop caring about what other people think about you.
- If you don’t try, you’ll never know. Better to have tried and failed then to not have tried at all and still wondering what might have been or could have been.
- Listen to your parents. Most often, especially when you’re growing up, they know what they are talking about. Now I wish I listened to my mum more often because a lot of things she said I shouldn’t do, I regret doing now.
- Childbirth is the most painful experience you can ever imagine but also the most rewarding.
- What seems like the end of the world for you right now, is not really the end of the world.
- Your brain can memorize a bunch of information so don’t waist that space with silly song lyrics or lines from your favorite tv show.
- Don’t waist your time watching re-runs of old shows. Watch them once and be done with it.
- Seek knowledge. When you’re knowledgeable you can have a discussion with people, you can stand your ground and speak up on what you believe in.
- Don’t be jealous. If something is suppose to happen for you it will and if not it was never ment to reach you.
- Love yourself, every single aspect of yourself. Your body and your mind.
- Always read the manual.
- Don’t try to color your hair from a dark colored hair to blond hair at home.
- Be in the present.
- Trust your whole life, every single aspect of your life, the good and the bad, with God.
If you want to check out the video I made where I go more in depth on my life lessons you can go to my YouTube channel and watch it there.
Today I got spoiled with cake, gifts and food. Since we’re leaving tomorrow for Italy we had an early birthday celebration with the closest family. I really didn’t ask for anything other then a couple of things I order weeks beforehand from Amazon. But I did wish for a cake which I got and it was by far the best cake I’ve tasted in a long time. And it was no other then a NUTELLA cake, like seriously.. that there just needed caps lock cause I didn’t even know it was possible. But Oma did it so good but I couldn’t manage more then one piece.
We had dessert before dinner and after opening some presents we ate chicken and three well made salads.
In the evening I finally got to drive our rented car up to Hohenpeissenberg where we saw the most beautiful sunset on the way down. I’m totally in love with sunsets because it’s such a beautiful end to a day. And every sunset I see always gets more beautiful which is hard to believe is possible, because just look at this..
And of course the ‘Kicker’ had to find it’s way out from the garage so it could be played on a couple of times.
Now I’m almost done packing for tomorrow and I’m so tired I’m about to fall asleep so I’ll end it here.
Today was an all day trip from 1 o’clock till 9 which can confirm that I’m about to fall asleep any minute. My mother, uncle and his girlfriend and I all drove to Stanberger sea which approximate is a 45 minute drive. Like yesterday the weather didn’t agree with us and the sun hardly showed up. Optimistically as I am I went in a long dress with ballerinas. It’s save to say that my feet still are cold even now under my blanket. We stopped at a ‘Beergarten’ on the way home where I got to taste Mr. Hugo – my drink after 3 months. It wasn’t worth it but it did taste good.
We ended the day with dinner at a restaurant in Peiting where I had my favorite – Käsespätzle. Now we’re all back home and waiting for tomorrow, my early birthday celebration.
Oh, and sorry for the lack of photos. I do take my camera everywhere but today I forgot my memory card. It was waiting on me in my computer when I got home. It will be remembered tomorrow though.