Grateful for another year

Today has physically and mentally been a long day. Even though it didn’t turn out the way I imagined, I’m so grateful for another year. You see, today is my birthday. 25 years ago my life started and I’m so grateful to have turned 25. Even though the number always scares me a little bit every year. But the thing is – I don’t feel 25. I guess it’s because I had this imagine of how 25 would feel and look like from a young age. And now that it has arrived, I don’t feel a day over 20, maybe 21. It’s like time stopped 5 years ago, even though it didn’t. 

My plans today were having a huge breakfast, taking my son to daycare and then continuing the day with my daughter. I planned to meet my mum and we would have coffee and cake. I would take her home to my house and cut her hair, pick up my son and start dinner. I wanted my brother to come visit us and we would all have cake together, and maybe I would open some presents. All of this never happened because it couldn’t. And even though we plan, God plans as well and He is the Best of Planners. 

Today didn’t happen has I imagined but I’m still so grateful for the family I’ve got, for my two healthy children who even at hard times bring a smile to my face, and for another year. God willing, I will have many more to come with my family by my side. 

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Elizabeth

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This saddens my heart

I miss the nights in Ramadan. When the night falls deep into a sleep and you are alone with your Lord. I miss the feeling of completely serving my Lord with the intentions to only please Him.

It saddens my heart that for each year it seems like we lose more and more people to this dunya. Don’t feel tempted to follow the footsteps of Shaytan. He only sits on the Straight Path to send you astray. And his whispers are only filled with lies and deception. 

Hold on to that last string of faith and recharge your imaan. Trust me, I know it can be hard. How tempting isn’t this world, with all it’s beautifications. But one thing is for sure; it will end and everything you have left are your deeds. So make them many and make them good. God willing, the good will overweight the bad on the day of Judgement and our faces will be shinning bright. 

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Elizabeth

Where is your freedom now

You tell me I am oppressed because of the way I dress.
You tell me I am oppressed because I cover my hair.
You tell me I am oppressed because I choose not to hug nor kiss you.

Now you are outside covering your face and your hands.
And you neither touch nor kiss someone,
because you are scared of the dangerous corona virus.

Science is now telling you how to dress and act with others.
Allah has always told me how to dress and act with others.

You are afraid of the virus.
I am afraid of Allah.

You want to be saved from the epidemic.
I want to be saved from the hell fire.

Now who of us is oppressed?

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Elizabeth

Your purpose

Make your purpose to strive for success
Paradise where you’ll rest
And make the Angels know your name
Prayer is the only thing separating a believer from a disbeliever
Fight the urge to fall in love with this worldly life
Because it will end for each and everyone of us
No one can escape it, so you tell me; what are we striving for?
Success and recognition from strangers?
Or the supreme goal with our Creator?
Faith can be the anchor to our core belief
But often invisible to the outside world
But I carry my faith on my head every single day
And I’m never going to do it for anybody else –

– than for the purpose of saving myself from this worldly life.

Elizabeth

My hospital bag – What I needed & wish I had

What I actually needed:

• A change of clothes – A definite must! I packed a nursing top, a big jeans shirt and a black long sleeveless dress and also some comfy mom pants.
• Nursing top & bra – For some this isn’t necessary but for me it’s super practical and I basically lived in my nursing top. The last day I changed and used the bra with my shirt.
• Trousers & socks – Of course this is an essential. I had 2 pairs of underwear and 3 pairs of socks which was just the perfect amount.
• Toiletry – Everything I packed here I actually needed. Toothbrush and toothpaste. Hairbrush, extra hair tie, body wash and a facial cleanser. Nipple cream was very helpful the first days and also bra pads.
• Power bank – I could’ve just taken my charger with me but I thought a power bank would be smaller to take with and more easy to use whenever I would need it.

What I wish I took with me:

• Slippers – Now I only had my sneakers with me when we came to the hospital and I totally forgot how difficult it would be to get in and out of these once given birth. I struggled multiple times to get into the shoes since it was difficult to bend over. That’s why a pair of slippers would have been perfect to roam around in.
• Baby wipes – I thought one small pack of wipes would be enough, but they hardly even lasted till the second day. As my memory failed to remind me that the hospital only had big, dry wipes that you could wet with a bit of water. Not always as optimal to use when changing a newborn.
• A magazine or book – I didn’t think my entertainment would be an issue, but when I found myself alone in the room, after flicking through the TV channels several times, I do wish I had something more to look at.
• A big hoodie – The hospital rooms were surprisingly cold and I could defiantly have used a big hoodie with a zipper in front.
• Another big button down shirt – I practically lived in the one shirt I brought with me because it was so cold and I didn’t have anything else at hand. A change of shirts would defiantly come in handy.
• More baby clothes – Since we get to borrow clothes at the hospital for the baby, I didn’t think it would be necessary to bring too much clothes for the little one. But after having an accident on the new PJ, hat and a pair of socks, I would recommend to take another hat, a body with long sleeves and a second PJ.

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Elizabeth

300 days since..

I’ve just scrolled threw all of the videos I’ve taken this past year with my son. Trying to soak up every sent and smell from him as long as possible. Kissing him as soon as the opportunity arrives because I know that I have to go back to work, leaving him for X amount of hours every day. I don’t even want to think about it but I know that is the reality. I wish I could rewind and do it all over again. The light night feeds, the first smile and laugh, and even all the diaper changes. I wouldn’t mind it at all if it meant I could spend it with my first born child again.

Everyone says the time will go fast but it truly ran away from me when he turned 6 months. Until then I had some sort of grip on the time I had with him, but when he started being more mobil and communicating more, even the fact that he started eating solids made a huge difference. I didn’t have that closeness to him as I did before and now he’s walking everywhere, being so active and milk from me is no longer interesting.

I don’t know what the future holds or how our days will develop, and to be honest I’m sacred of the unknown. But to be truthful I was scared before I got my son too and it turned out pretty awesome.

Elizabeth

Sunday reminder

The difference between a believer and a disbeliever is his salah. 

Goodbye

And yet again we have to say goodbye to you
The month were hope is restored,
and faith is recharged
We will wait patiently till you come again
Hoping we will meet you next year
Trying to take our good deeds beyond this month
And make everyday like Ramadan

Elizabeth

Ethnicity Tag

What is your ethnicity?

Both my dad and my mom are german so that would make me 100% german. Though I was born in Sweden and never lived in Germany.

When was the last time you visited your country?

I think it was November 2014 when we all got together and said our goodbyes to my Oma. We used to visit at least once a year before that, mostly in the summer but sometimes also in the winter.

One ethnic food you love the most?

Käsespätzle without a doubt, with lots and lots of cheese.

One household item that represents your culture?

I’m not big on culture and I’ve never cared for german culture, but something that does scream Germany is maybe a Nußknacker, even though we never had one in our home, or big beer glasses.

What part of the country are you from?

Bayern – both my dad and on my mom’s side.  

Can you speak the language of your ethnicity?

Yes, I can, though the grammar is still quite hard to get a hang off.

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Maybe you learned something new about me. Now I challenge you to do this tag! Leave a link to your blog in the comments so that I can read your answers.

Elizabeth

Hello February

First day in February, the shortest month of the year, started off with a cold and rainy snowfall. I’ve already been on a stroll outside but today’s trip lasted less than half an hour. But since it is the first day of February I thought I’d share ten random facts about me – so here we go.

1. First thought when you looked in the mirror today? That I still have some glue left on my upper eyelids from yesterdays false lashes, which will probably take a day or two to get rid of.
2. Who is the 4th person on your ‘missed calls list’ on your phone? A call from our local health clinic.
3. What does it say in your last text message? Ca. 19:15 – Ok? A message from my dad wonder when he could come over yesterday. 
4. What are you wearing right now? A pair of grey big sweatpants, a white nursing topp which I paired with a warm cardigan and then my blue turban, which has been my favorite style to wear lately.
5. What word do you use over and over? Probably the word ‘bismillah’ – meaning: ‘In the name of Allah (God)’. A word I use before I eat, drink, go to the toilet or go out.
6. Your favorite age so far in life? I’m pretty happy about the age I am at right now. Where I am in life and my situation. I’m truly blessed with the amount of love I have around me.
7. What’s your screensaver right now?  Kinda boring, but I like to have everything neat and tidy, which includes my screensaver. 
8. What’s the last thing you said to someone today? I do have regular conversations with my baby, but they are with no respons. So I guess it has to be when I said goodbye to my other half before he went of to work.
9. If you could change your name, what would you choose? This is a tough one because I do love my name, even though I never seemed to like it as much when I was younger. People always seemed to spell it wrong or pronounce it the wrong way, but now I’m quite content with it.
10. Which one of your instagram pictures has gotten the most likes? With my 150 followers there is not a lot of bragging to do here, but there was a time where I had an open profil and I did get a few more likes then I do now. 

Now that I’ve almost used an hour for this blog post I must continue my day and that includes getting myself something to eat before the little one wakes up.

Elizabeth