Today has physically and mentally been a long day. Even though it didn’t turn out the way I imagined, I’m so grateful for another year. You see, today is my birthday. 25 years ago my life started and I’m so grateful to have turned 25. Even though the number always scares me a little bit every year. But the thing is – I don’t feel 25. I guess it’s because I had this imagine of how 25 would feel and look like from a young age. And now that it has arrived, I don’t feel a day over 20, maybe 21. It’s like time stopped 5 years ago, even though it didn’t.
My plans today were having a huge breakfast, taking my son to daycare and then continuing the day with my daughter. I planned to meet my mum and we would have coffee and cake. I would take her home to my house and cut her hair, pick up my son and start dinner. I wanted my brother to come visit us and we would all have cake together, and maybe I would open some presents. All of this never happened because it couldn’t. And even though we plan, God plans as well and He is the Best of Planners.
Today didn’t happen has I imagined but I’m still so grateful for the family I’ve got, for my two healthy children who even at hard times bring a smile to my face, and for another year. God willing, I will have many more to come with my family by my side.
You tell me I am oppressed because of the way I dress.
You tell me I am oppressed because I cover my hair.
You tell me I am oppressed because I choose not to hug nor kiss you.
Now you are outside covering your face and your hands.
And you neither touch nor kiss someone,
because you are scared of the dangerous corona virus.
Science is now telling you how to dress and act with others.
Allah has always told me how to dress and act with others.
You are afraid of the virus.
I am afraid of Allah.
You want to be saved from the epidemic.
I want to be saved from the hell fire.
Now who of us is oppressed?
Leaving you behind will be one of the hardest things I’ll have to do. You are growing up and I wish I could go back and experience it all again. Even the long, sleepless nights. The laughter and heartbreak. It’s going too fast and soon it’s gone. I can’t even remember the little things. Your first smile or the first time you laughed. This time last year I had you so close, our hearts beating next to each other. Can we go back together, just you and I? Let’s live it again, even the hard times. I wouldn’t want it any other way because it was you. It was always you.
Momma loves you.
Week by week this is what I did last year.
- Finding out the gender of our 2nd child.
- Punctured a tire on the car.
- Went to the movies w/ my mum & saw ‘Second Act’.
- Visited my friend at her new apartment & brought her salt & bread.
- First night our son slept in his own room.
- 50% on sick leave from work.
- Spent the afternoon w/ my mum.
- Drove to Sweden with the family to buy food.
- Met my friend after not seeing each other for one year.
- My son and I spent a whole afternoon w/ my dad in Oslo.
- Flew to Paris w/ my mum (& my daughter).
- Renovated our new kitchen table from the thrift store.
- Celebrated my mum’s birthday w/ my brother.
- Met my best friends.
- Visited my old school w/ my friend and my son.
- Easter holiday – worked all week.
- Drove to IKEA & went to a fabric store in Oslo alone.
- Food shopping in Sweden w/ the family.
- Start of Ramadan. Watched ‘The Hustle’ at the cinema w/ my mum.
- Started maternity leave.
- 38 week control.
- First Kindergarten visit & visit from my mum. Our daughter was born.
- Eid celebration w/ my husband’s family.
- Visit from my friend & went shopping.
- Food- and kids market w/ my children, mum and brother.
- Met my best friends & celebrated my friend’s birthday together.
- Breakfast at my dad’s.
- 1st motorcycle ride w/ my dad. Met my friend & went to a cafe & the beach.
- Met my friend at her house w/ my kids & her nephew.
- Beach day w/ the family.
- First day in kindergarten for my son & met my niece for the 1st time.
- Shopping day w/ the family. Akvarium visit w/ my mum and the kids.
- Norway’s biggest amusement park w/ my husband’s family.
- Visited an open farm w/ my children.
- Celebrated my 24th birthday w/ my mum, dad, brother, husband and kids. Also bought a new car.
- 1st day back at work.
- Goodbye dinner for a dear colleague.
- 1st time our daughter tried baby food (mashed potatoes).
- Last MC ride of the year.
- Sweden w/ the family – food shopping.
- Gokart w/ my brother & husband.
- Our daughter rolls over for the first time.
- Sunday breakfast at my dad’s.
- Visited a huge soft play area w/ my husbands family and kids.
- Sweden w/ my mum and daughter.
- My son had to go to the doctor’s.
- Met my friend.
- Picked up my mum from the airport. Witnessed a motorcycle crash.
- Brunch at my dad’s.
- Sweden w/ my mum and daughter.
- Cinema w/ my mum – we watched Jumanji: The next level.
- First roadtrip w/ the family to Gothenburg.
A 100 days ago I gave birth to a healthy baby girl. 4920 grams and 50 cm of pure love wrapped into one tiny human being. 3 months later I can see her smiling back at me when I look at her and all of my worries fade away. The world stops for minute and it’s just us. Then the noise from the outside world start tumbling in again but that smile remains. And after 9 long months she is finally kicking her feet of joy and excitement. There is nothing more beautiful and precious than to see your children grow up right beside you. And losing either one of them would be my greatest fear.
Tomorrow will be my first day back at work since going out on maternity leave 3 weeks before my baby girl came. My head is totally ready for it but my heart is still yearning to be with my child. I’m overwhelmed with emotions and don’t really know what to focus on. But I know it will be good for me, and I’m ready to take the leap.
The first Saturday in September, 3 months after giving birth, I’m back at it, and I’m ready.
The last couple of weeks have turned into a blur. All merged into one. I don’t even remember when one stops and the next one starts. I fill my day with tasks & goals so that my time won’t be left meaningless. The one thing I wish I had more of – time. Whilst I know my time is ending, the time of my children are just beginning, God willing. But that makes days like these so much more valuable.
I started my day off like I always do – enjoying a homemade breakfast with my son. Around noon I jumped in the car with my daughter to drive and pick up my friend from work. We enjoyed our afternoon outside, finding a cute cafe were we could sit and chat for a while. The day only got better when we decided to buy two baskets of strawberries and then swing by at home to get my son. Norwegian summer doesn’t last very long so when the weather is good you’ll find most people at the beach, where we also ended up. Even though it took a while to get used to the cold water, it was still nice.
A day to remember. Now I’m hoping that my daughter will fall asleep soon so that I too can catch some Zzzz. Good night.
Both my babies are in bed now, even though it happened to get a bit earlier for my son. But since he missed his afternoon nap today he was eagerly asleep once we put him down. It’s been 11 days since our little girl arrived and the days are slowly flying by. My due date was just four days ago but I’m so glad she came early. I don’t know what I would have done if I’d go another minute of being pregnant. I’m enjoying every moment of being a mom of two, trying to find our new routine and having lots of family time. I know a labor & delivery story is still missing from this page and my YouTube, but they are in the works. In the mean time let me reminisces of the things I don’t really miss from my pregnancy.
5 Things I don’t miss from being pregnancy
- Itching all over my growing belly
- Not having any clothes that fit properly
- Seeing new stretch marks
- Not being able to go an hour without using the bathroom
- Having extreme back pain at the end of the day
With that being said, I’m never going to be ungrateful for the miracle I have in my life. After nine long and painful months, she is finally here and I’m so lucky and thankful.
It has been 9 long months but the wait is over. And while I waited for my little baby girl to arrive, I found myself doing various tasks around the house to get the time to pass. As I went along I added things to my to-do list and every time I added something it seemed as if I would never get my list done.
Cleaning the house – several times. Including washing the windows on the inside and outside. Washing our sofa cover. Cleaning the entire kitchen, inside and outside the cabins. And the usual dusting and vacuuming.
Washing baby clothes. I still had some clothes from my son that I though were unisex which I dug out while I simultaneously went through his old clothes and gave some away for donation. I also received a lot of clothes from colleges that needed a wash and some new clothes I bough just for our baby girl.
Sewing. I actually did quite a lot of sewing while I waited for the baby to arrive. I had a list of things I wanted to make and it was a perfect time to get around to it since I had a lot of spare time on my hands. The only tricky part was getting around to cut out all the fabric since my belly was mostly in the way. But I did manage to make a jacket, a bedsheet and up-cycling some old clothes.
Baking. Now I wish I did more of this but manage to make a cake or two, one of which was a delicious carrot cake.
Colouring my hair. The last week I was really bored and scratched my brain to find something to do. I got more and more sick of seeing my dull hair so I ordered some hair bleach and colour. When my products finally arrived I took my hairdressing skills to the test and changed my hair.
Making YouTube videos. Now I knew I wanted to have a little break from filming when the baby arrived so I decided to pre film a couple of videos which I will post soon.
Packing our hospital bag. I waited till I was 35 weeks pregnant to get on with packing the hospital bag. If you want to see the content of my bag I will leave the video link here.
Giving my son a hair cut. Yet again I found my hairdressing skills come to use and actually managed to cut my sons hair twice before the baby arrived. I love seeing him with short, clean cut hair – it makes him look so fresh and young.
we heart it
That’s how I spend somewhat of my time waiting for our baby girl. I also had some shifts at work when they needed me and spent a lot of quality time with our son. Now a new routine awaits us and I’m excited to see what that will mean.