That summer day

That summer day

I just got a text from you.
It’s been months since we’ve talked.
I’ve gotten used to living without your present.
I don’t even feel the urge to look what you have to say.
But somehow I couldn’t stop my fingers from sliding the page open-
scrolling down to the last message.
I expected my heart to stop for a split second
but my feelings where numb towards you.
You know we didn’t end it on the best note that summer.
I still remember the heart break, like it was last week.
That’s how I know it was real.
I never seemed to work up the courage to wipe out the messy page
we left on that summer day.


Elizabeth

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My goals for 2018

My goals for 2018

I know it’s a week until new years but I thought I would share my goals a week in advance. Since I am going traveling the first week of January and I still want to film 2-3 videos in advance, I thought I would do this now.

I always take a look back at the year I’ve had and summaries my feelings, accomplishments and travels. I will still do this at the end of the year but for now I’ve picked my brain on what I want to improve in 2018.


MY GOALS FOR 2018

1. Read the Quran every day! I did this after Ramadan and even though I just read a page or two sometimes, I sat myself down after Maghrib prayer and read. Now I’ve fallen out of my routine and only read a verse or two on my Quran app.

"The most beloved deed to Allah is the most regular and constant even though it were little." Sahih Bukhari 8/471

2. Listen to the Quran every morning. A great way to the beginning of a new day and why not start the day of right. This is something you can do while preparing breakfast, getting dressed or doing your laundry.
3. Do dhikr. Remember Allah (God) in everything you do. Say thank you for the food you have, the clean water, the job you’ve been giving, your faith, family & friends. Nothing would be possible without Allah.

Alhamdullilah - All praise to Allah
 Subhan'Allah - Glorious is Allah
 Allahu Akbar - Allah is the Greatest

4. Learn Surah Al-Kahf. The 18th chapter of the Quran. A surah I’ve started to learn but then again forgotten because I don’t practice it. Insha’Allah I will learn at least the first 10 verses before Ramadan 2018.
5. Listen to Surah al-Kahf every Friday.

"If anyone learns by heart the first 10 verses of Surah al-Kahf, he will be protected from the Dajjal (Anti-Christ)." Sahih Muslim 4/1766

6. Fast Monday & Thursdays. Prophet Muhammad saw used to fast on these days because these are the days our deeds are shown to Allah.
7. Wake up for Fajr consistently on time, and also pray Tahajjud (night prayer) at least once every week.

Our Lord comes down to the nearest Heaven every night when the last third of the night remains.

8. Write a gratitude journal. A place where I can write down what I’m grateful for, what I want to improve and my accomplishments for the day.
9. Create a new video every week with bonus videos sometimes during the week. Focusing on lifestyle videos, fashion & style and beauty related videos.
10. Gain 500 subscribers on YouTube.
11. Buy a Nikon j5 to improve my video quality. Support me on Patreon if you’d like!
12. Keep a daily diary on my laptop without any filter. Somewhere I can write exactly what I’m feeling and experiencing.


I hope you continue on following my journey and let’s check off this list one by one together. Do you have anything you want to add? Leave it in the comments.

Happy holidays!

Elizabeth

I can’t do this anymore

I can’t do this anymore

I can’t even feel the pain because I’ve buried it so far down
Every inch of my being is torn and I want to scream out crying.
Feeling like a disappointment to everyone around me.
Silently crying because I don’t want anyone to hear me.
With the door unlocked because I want someone to find me.
Being happy and miserable at the same time.


Elizabeth