This saddens my heart

I miss the nights in Ramadan. When the night falls deep into a sleep and you are alone with your Lord. I miss the feeling of completely serving my Lord with the intentions to only please Him.

It saddens my heart that for each year it seems like we lose more and more people to this dunya. Don’t feel tempted to follow the footsteps of Shaytan. He only sits on the Straight Path to send you astray. And his whispers are only filled with lies and deception. 

Hold on to that last string of faith and recharge your imaan. Trust me, I know it can be hard. How tempting isn’t this world, with all it’s beautifications. But one thing is for sure; it will end and everything you have left are your deeds. So make them many and make them good. God willing, the good will overweight the bad on the day of Judgement and our faces will be shinning bright. 

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Elizabeth

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Where is your freedom now

You tell me I am oppressed because of the way I dress.
You tell me I am oppressed because I cover my hair.
You tell me I am oppressed because I choose not to hug nor kiss you.

Now you are outside covering your face and your hands.
And you neither touch nor kiss someone,
because you are scared of the dangerous corona virus.

Science is now telling you how to dress and act with others.
Allah has always told me how to dress and act with others.

You are afraid of the virus.
I am afraid of Allah.

You want to be saved from the epidemic.
I want to be saved from the hell fire.

Now who of us is oppressed?

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Elizabeth

Your purpose

Make your purpose to strive for success
Paradise where you’ll rest
And make the Angels know your name
Prayer is the only thing separating a believer from a disbeliever
Fight the urge to fall in love with this worldly life
Because it will end for each and everyone of us
No one can escape it, so you tell me; what are we striving for?
Success and recognition from strangers?
Or the supreme goal with our Creator?
Faith can be the anchor to our core belief
But often invisible to the outside world
But I carry my faith on my head every single day
And I’m never going to do it for anybody else –

– than for the purpose of saving myself from this worldly life.

Elizabeth

To My Daughter

These words are for you

As long as I can remember I’ve wanted to meet you
I don’t ever want you to think you’re not meant to be
Because this was planned by the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful

Wondering who you’ll become
Thinking about our time together
Hoping I can live up to your expectations
Wishing we’ll never fight –
Knowing fully that there will be days
were I’m not going to be your favourite

I pray you’ll never feel restrained by our religion
And grow up to love Islam & Allah
Knowing what our goal is
Because I want to meet you again in Paradise

I hope I can be the one you look up to –
The one you can turn to
I’m going to try my best
but so scared I’ll disappoint you,
that I’ll disappoint myself
Scared of the world you’ll grow up in
Knowing I won’t be able to protect you

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Elizabeth

Sabr, sabr, and more sabr

Patience. Such a sweet word which we all want more of. When we don’t receive the things we’ve wanted for the longest time or when things don’t go our way, we forget that God tests us with sabr.

Patience is bitter but sweet because when we receive our greatest wish we feel so satisfied. We know that all the time waiting was worth it, because God has given us an even greater gift than what we could imagine.

Patience is hard because we’re looking forward to something that we feel we need or are suppost to get but when we don’t, we always start asking why. Imagine if we’d get everything we wished for right at the moment we asked for it. We would stop being appreciative, even more so than we already are today.

We might even wish for something that isn’t good for us and never will be. We might want something that will never reach us even if it was right in front of us. We have to keep our trust and belief in God. He has it all planed out in the greatest way and He knows what’s good for you and what isn’t.

Keep on praying and never, ever lose hope in God. 

Elizabeth

Don’t take advice from the fallen one

The deep, dark thoughts suddenly surface again.

And I wonder if it’s shaytan whispering in my ear repeatedly.

Or is this from my own self?

I feel bruised and beaten on the inside.

Why do I self destructed every good thing in my life?

But just know that Shaytan doesn’t attack the lost ones.

Their case is done.

He sits on the straight path to mislead the believers.

So don’t give up dear one.

The end is near and so is your reward, in sha Allah.

 

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Elizabeth

The week that went too fast

It’s Friday again and suddenly you’re sitting alone in your house wondering how time could go by so fast. A week ago I had just gotten home from Edinburgh, but I didn’t unpack until today. I only had 3 full days with my cousin but we managed to do a whole lot in those days. I’m so glad I have the opportunity to see her once in a while because we truly have the best time together. We can talk about anything and everything, and even though we have two different faiths, we support and respect each other. I was quite nervous seeing her again because she hadn’t seen me in hijab before, expect for my videos. Thank God, she was so sweet and understand and always gave me space and time to pray.

I wanted to take a moment and throw it back to a week ago and share some fond memories we made.

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At the airport – half empty plane, whole row to myself – sunset view

Overpriced high tea with a double rainbow view

At Camera Obscura – Edinburgh from above

Edinburgh zoo

Obligatory outfit picture

Best home made Italian pasta

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Until next time,

Elizabeth

Reminder to all reverts out there

Don’t be too hard on yourself. Sometimes it can be hard to see how far you’ve come when everyone around you is pointing out your mistakes.

Remember the time you didn’t wear the hijab. The time when you still ate pork or drank a glass of alcohol. The time before Islam. Before you change you’re life.

I used to read a lot of forums on fb and at first it was fine but soon it began to drag me down. Every notification made me question my faith and there were times I wanted to cry because I felt like I was a bad muslim. That my afford wasn’t enough.

But do your best and that will be enough. Be proud of yourself! Be proud of how far you’ve come and pray that Allah will help you become the best muslim you can be. We are all on our own journey and for some it’s easy and for others it takes longer.

Find a balance and don’t lose yourself. Your faith should make you stronger and lift you up.

Elizabeth

My goals for 2018

I know it’s a week until new years but I thought I would share my goals a week in advance. Since I am going traveling the first week of January and I still want to film 2-3 videos in advance, I thought I would do this now.

I always take a look back at the year I’ve had and summaries my feelings, accomplishments and travels. I will still do this at the end of the year but for now I’ve picked my brain on what I want to improve in 2018.

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MY GOALS FOR 2018

1. Read the Quran every day! I did this after Ramadan and even though I just read a page or two sometimes, I sat myself down after Maghrib prayer and read. Now I’ve fallen out of my routine and only read a verse or two on my Quran app.

"The most beloved deed to Allah is the most regular and constant even though it were little." Sahih Bukhari 8/471

2. Listen to the Quran every morning. A great way to the beginning of a new day and why not start the day of right. This is something you can do while preparing breakfast, getting dressed or doing your laundry.
3. Do dhikr. Remember Allah (God) in everything you do. Say thank you for the food you have, the clean water, the job you’ve been giving, your faith, family & friends. Nothing would be possible without Allah.

Alhamdullilah - All praise to Allah
 Subhan'Allah - Glorious is Allah
 Allahu Akbar - Allah is the Greatest

4. Learn Surah Al-Kahf. The 18th chapter of the Quran. A surah I’ve started to learn but then again forgotten because I don’t practice it. Insha’Allah I will learn at least the first 10 verses before Ramadan 2018.
5. Listen to Surah al-Kahf every Friday.

"If anyone learns by heart the first 10 verses of Surah al-Kahf, he will be protected from the Dajjal (Anti-Christ)." Sahih Muslim 4/1766

6. Fast Monday & Thursdays. Prophet Muhammad saw used to fast on these days because these are the days our deeds are shown to Allah.
7. Wake up for Fajr consistently on time, and also pray Tahajjud (night prayer) at least once every week.

Our Lord comes down to the nearest Heaven every night when the last third of the night remains.

8. Write a gratitude journal. A place where I can write down what I’m grateful for, what I want to improve and my accomplishments for the day.
9. Create a new video every week with bonus videos sometimes during the week. Focusing on lifestyle videos, fashion & style and beauty related videos.
10. Gain 500 subscribers on YouTube.
11. Buy a Nikon j5 to improve my video quality. Support me on Patreon if you’d like!
12. Keep a daily diary on my laptop without any filter. Somewhere I can write exactly what I’m feeling and experiencing.

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I hope you continue on following my journey and let’s check off this list one by one together. Do you have anything you want to add? Leave it in the comments.

Happy holidays!

Elizabeth

My faith is between me and my Lord

So I just got a comment on YouTube where someone told me that I don’t dress appropriately for being a muslim and that it is not the way that Prophet Muhammad (saw – peace be upon him) said women should dress. I immediately felt attacked and after thinking twice about it I ended up deleting the comment. But here I am 5 minutes later thinking about it. That’s the thing though – it may be gone from my platform it’s still in my life.

I understand the need to comment and let people know what is right and what is wrong, but on the other hand it’s not always your place. You might think it’s your responsibility, but you have no idea how hard it is for me to not only put on the hijab but to dress modestly all together. It wasn’t before a couple of months ago that I started slowly to cover my hair. And there was no other reason than for Allah (God).

You may be raised in a muslim community or family and it might be second nature to cover all together and only where the jilbab or abaya & hijab. But for me, someone who is raised in a non-muslim family in the west, who just recently converted, it’s not easy. I have struggled so much with it to the point where I didn’t want to come near it. And you telling me that my effort is not enough is not your place.

Please think twice before you think to comment on a subject that is essentially between me and my God. At the end of the day He knows my effort and what is in my heart, and that’s all that counts.

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Astaghfirullah for my past
Alhamdulillah for today
Insha’Allah for my future

Elizabeth