Since my last post was all about the things I didn’t achieve in 2020, I wanted to make a new list for 2021. The year started off with a new lock-down periode, at least here in Norway. And I totally still feel like I’m stuck in the middle of December of 2020. I thought it would be beneficial for me to write down some goals for this year. It’s great to have something specific to work towards. We might not be over the pandemic just yet but I can already feel that this year will be better than the last. It has to be! So let’s begin, shall we.
My goals for this year:
Learn a new Surah
Read more books
Get a full time job
Have a YouTube schedule
Post on IG again
Learn the box step when jumping rope
Finish a 5k run in 30 minutes
For now this is my list. I struggle to find books I can relate to so if you have any suggestions, please comment down below. I have also started to post on my public Instagram so if you want to check it out I will link my IG here.
Yesterday was such a wired and difficult day for some reason. You know when you have those days when nothing will go your way. It’s like the univers is against you. My time planning isn’t on it’s strongest side either, and when I think I can manage to get ready in 15 minutes I must be dreaming.
I can’t remember the last time I slept in and since my son wakes me up at 7 am now, I defiantly have to step up my game and put my money where my month is. I can’t just keep saying things and not see them through. I’ve also been so lazy this week with my training. But luckily the day turned around yesterday when I finally got out. After a little tantrum on my side – not my proudest moment – and a lot of f-words, which I never say, the day somehow turned around.
I met up with my mum and we had a lovely afternoon out. We began our shopping trip at a café because we were all starving and then continued on with some shopping. I desperately needed new kicks, and I’ve been drooling over either Nike or Adidas for the longest time. Brands are never really my thing but with good (looking) walking shoes you can never go wrong with a original brand like Nike or Adidas. After trying on some sneakers, all in a baby pink colour, I slipped into the dusty pink Nike Air and it was like walking on a sky. I have never felt such comfort on my feet and I knew I had to get them.
After 100£ lighter we went on to the toy store before I practically ran to the hairdressers to buy a new shampoo before the stores closed. I try to change my brand every time I use up my shampoo & conditioner but I always choose volum shampoo because that’s what my scalp needs at the moment.
The next two hours we went to eat dinner before I drove my mum home. I hope the coming week will be so much better. And I’ll start right here and now & try to see some promises through that I make myself.
Don’t be too hard on yourself. Sometimes it can be hard to see how far you’ve come when everyone around you is pointing out your mistakes.
Remember the time you didn’t wear the hijab. The time when you still ate pork or drank a glass of alcohol. The time before Islam. Before you change you’re life.
I used to read a lot of forums on fb and at first it was fine but soon it began to drag me down. Every notification made me question my faith and there were times I wanted to cry because I felt like I was a bad muslim. That my afford wasn’t enough.
But do your best and that will be enough. Be proud of yourself! Be proud of how far you’ve come and pray that Allah will help you become the best muslim you can be. We are all on our own journey and for some it’s easy and for others it takes longer.
Find a balance and don’t lose yourself. Your faith should make you stronger and lift you up.
So I just got a comment on YouTube where someone told me that I don’t dress appropriately for being a muslim and that it is not the way that Prophet Muhammad (saw – peace be upon him) said women should dress. I immediately felt attacked and after thinking twice about it I ended up deleting the comment. But here I am 5 minutes later thinking about it. That’s the thing though – it may be gone from my platform it’s still in my life.
I understand the need to comment and let people know what is right and what is wrong, but on the other hand it’s not always your place. You might think it’s your responsibility, but you have no idea how hard it is for me to not only put on the hijab but to dress modestly all together. It wasn’t before a couple of months ago that I started slowly to cover my hair. And there was no other reason than for Allah (God).
You may be raised in a muslim community or family and it might be second nature to cover all together and only where the jilbab or abaya & hijab. But for me, someone who is raised in a non-muslim family in the west, who just recently converted, it’s not easy. I have struggled so much with it to the point where I didn’t want to come near it. And you telling me that my effort is not enough is not your place.
Please think twice before you think to comment on a subject that is essentially between me and my God. At the end of the day He knows my effort and what is in my heart, and that’s all that counts.
Astaghfirullah for my past Alhamdulillah for today Insha’Allah for my future
For the longest time I’ve struggled to wake up on time before the sun rises, to stand before my Lord and pray. Waking up before everyone else, hearing the birds sing outside my window. Slowly seeing the darkness of the night fade away. But when I do it’s the best feeling in the world.
It’s going to be a struggle every single day, fighting the comfort of the warm bed and stop the dreams. But I also know that I only have my deeds left with me at the end. So these are some of the things that get me up in the morning and hopefully they can help you too.
Prayer – Remember that the morning prayer is the shortest and also the quickest since there is only two raka’ah. It doesn’t take long before you can snuggle up in your bed again and continue sleeping.
"Whoever prays Fajr is under the protection of Allah."
Shaytan – Fajr might be the hardest prayer since the devil is working extra hard to keep you from remembering your Lord. But remember Allah, do ablation and pray and the three knots that tie you to your bed at night are broken. And suddenly you’ve won the battle.
"The two cycles (rak'ats) of the morning prayer are better than
the world and what it contains."
Adhan – The sound of the adhan is a miracle in it self and I didn’t do this before a couple of days ago but you can’t ignore the sound of the adhan as your alarm in the morning. And if you still need help you should put your alarm clock far away from your bed so that you have to stand up.