This saddens my heart

I miss the nights in Ramadan. When the night falls deep into a sleep and you are alone with your Lord. I miss the feeling of completely serving my Lord with the intentions to only please Him.

It saddens my heart that for each year it seems like we lose more and more people to this dunya. Don’t feel tempted to follow the footsteps of Shaytan. He only sits on the Straight Path to send you astray. And his whispers are only filled with lies and deception. 

Hold on to that last string of faith and recharge your imaan. Trust me, I know it can be hard. How tempting isn’t this world, with all it’s beautifications. But one thing is for sure; it will end and everything you have left are your deeds. So make them many and make them good. God willing, the good will overweight the bad on the day of Judgement and our faces will be shinning bright. 

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Elizabeth

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Another chapter is closing

Leaving you behind will be one of the hardest things I’ll have to do. You are growing up and I wish I could go back and experience it all again. Even the long, sleepless nights. The laughter and heartbreak. It’s going too fast and soon it’s gone. I can’t even remember the little things. Your first smile or the first time you laughed. This time last year I had you so close, our hearts beating next to each other. Can we go back together, just you and I? Let’s live it again, even the hard times. I wouldn’t want it any other way because it was you. It was always you.
Momma loves you.

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Elizabeth

That summer day

I just got a text from you.
It’s been months since we’ve talked.
I’ve gotten used to living without your present.
I don’t even feel the urge to look what you have to say.
But somehow I couldn’t stop my fingers from sliding the page open-
scrolling down to the last message.
I expected my heart to stop for a split second
but my feelings where numb towards you.
You know we didn’t end it on the best note that summer.
I still remember the heart break, like it was last week.
That’s how I know it was real.
I never seemed to work up the courage to wipe out the messy page
we left on that summer day.

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Elizabeth

Chasing Likes Through Double Taps

After deleting my social media I suddenly remember how my time was spent before using it. How I used to have time to enjoy my meals without scrolling through Instagram. Or how I actually get time to read the blogs I used to love instead of just skimming through to see the pretty pictures. I found myself wasting my precious time – the time we have so little of and that goes by faster each year. At the end of the day it was neither beneficial or good for me. Whether I was posting a new picture, searching for likes and comments, waiting for my next follower. Or scrolling through to find my heart get jealous of what I couldn’t deliver through amazing photography skills or the number of likes I saw flashing in my face.

I need to start focusing on myself in the real world and not the visual concept we call social media.

No one dares to show the real side of life – only chasing likes through double taps.

 

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Elizabeth

Valentine wishlist

I have countless things on my wishlist. Everything from a Mac mouse to a HD camera, but since it’s valentines day soon I wanted to dive into Asos and see what I could find that I would genuinely be exited and happy to buy. Even though my saved items are much more then these 8 ones here, these will have to do for now.

j’adore // Adidas // Pink skirt // Burgundy jumpsuit // Night shirt // Ring // Wide pants // High heels

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You can never go wrong with a simple tee and I’ve been loving ones with slogans or writings on them. I really need to find some new ones since the 3 I have I wear on repeat. Pair it with a modest long skirt  or wide pants and you’re good to go.

I desperately need new sneakers as well and I’ve been drooling over some Adidas or Nike shoes for a while. You mostly end up paying for the name, but I do have to say they look unbelievable good.

A jumpsuit is a timeless piece and this one is high on my wish list and will probably stay there for a while because it’s way too expensive to buy. But I’m allowed to dream about it, right? And if I were to buy this suit I would maybe even pair it with a matching set of burgundy high heeled shoes – just saying.

You can never have too many night tee’s, and since mine is worn down and washed out I think I’m going to buy a new one soon and it might as well be this one. Paired with a cute heart ring to pull the romantic look all together, even though I’m just going to bed.

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I hope this was inspirational. Maybe you even found something you would like to buy. I’m definitely starting to love Asos, and I don’t know why I haven’t thought about buying from them before. I just always thought they were too expensive or only had high end brands. But you can find anything on this site, from Monki or New Look to Asos White and River Island. I can’t wait to stop by again and actually get those things from my wish list to my shopping basket.

Elizabeth

The hijab

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A cloth you put around your hair, draped down your chest. A garment worn by women. A religious sign – a sign that shows the world that you are muslim. A sign of oppression for some. But for me it’s a sign of freedom.

A conscious choice I make every day because I refuse to be seen as a sexual object for people to look at. I choose who I want to show my beauty to. And through my modesty you are forced to only see my heart and mind. Because that’s what I choose to share.

Some days I find myself wrapping my veil over and over again, never being satisfied. Feeling a resistance and thinking it would be easier to tuck away my scarfs in the back of the closet, but then I would be like everyone else. What I strive for is not in this world but beyond what I can see. And I finally choose to show the world I’m muslim.

Elizabeth

Five years ago

Five years ago I was 17, turning 18 in the fall. On my way to becoming a hairdresser but dreaming of becoming a stylist. Finally having a job working part time at a salon. Trying to figure out life and finding the pieces I was missing. Searching for answers. Falling in love and getting my heart broken just to fall in love all over again. Writing a five year plan and hoping it will all come true. Planning my future, daydreaming about traveling the world for a year or two. 

But my future was planned out differently than what I imagined. My dearest dream came true, and I had a family before I turned 22. I have loved and lost just to get the greatest gift of all. Seeing the other side of the world knowing what my heart really wanted. Figuring out I will never belong in this world other than for a short period of time. Now five years have gone and it’s time to move on.

Elizabeth

A gift from God

We’re counting down the weeks to meet you
Planned from the very beginning
You’ve been here all along
Waiting, for us
So close to my heart
It’s just you and me, us two
I can’t wait to meet you
Raise you and teach you,
protect and love you.

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Elizabeth

Patience

It’s been a minute or two since I’ve sat down and opened a blank post. The end of the year is sneaking up on us, and new beginnings are awaiting. A lot is going to change in the coming year and I’m debating on weather or not to share that part of my life. Since it’s so private and close to my heart, I want to protect it as much as I can.

As for myself, I’m still learning and everyday is a constant battle. It’s a lifelong journey and I need patience with myself. And I need the same patience and support from the people around me. It’s hard when you feel you’re carrying a huge weight on your shoulders. When people you thought where the closest to you, can’t be there for you and somehow you know you don’t have their support. It wears you down and sometimes you just want to run away from it all. But you can’t, and you remember that God has put you in this situation, going through this trial for a reason.

Elizabeth

Colorfull heart

Follow me on We heart it

Elizabeth