Little things

I can’t do this anymore

I can’t even feel the pain because I’ve buried it so far down
Every inch of my being is torn and I want to scream out crying.
Feeling like a disappointment to everyone around me.
Silently crying because I don’t want anyone to hear me.
With the door unlocked because I want someone to find me.
Being happy and miserable at the same time.



Release the pain

The last 48 hours have been long and exhausting. The quilt drives me crazy and before I lay my head down I think about the things I didn’t managed to do. I beat myself up, and I’m bruised from the inside out. I rage at the smallest things but put on a smile whenever I’m outside. I don’t recognizes myself anymore. I’m strangled by this life and wish for the time it will end. This is not the life I want to be living, waiting for death to arrive just to feel the release of the stinging pain.


I know this only took a minute to read but it helps. Every unsaid word can be written down forever, and that helps. Take a big breath, and don’t stop breathing.


Little things
Please end it
End this life like it is written for me 
I want to leave my pain behind, start over
I don’t want this life, I never chose it
But You did for me, You planned it
It has to be a reason behind it
Cause this can’t be it all
Why this ache to leave this place?
Cause I never feel like I’m home
I want to go home 
Please take me home
Little things

Lost without you

I won’t allow myself to cry. My tears will stay dry before they fall into my hand where you used to hold on to. But now you’ve let go and my tears are drowning in my eyes. My vision is gone and my heart is blinded. The emptiness carries on and grows in my soul. No one ever hears me even when I scream. The ache is still here after all these years. Even when you’re so close to me it never leaves. I feel your hand slowly slipping away. I fade away to my own distraction and I’m lost without you.



This is the story that I’ve never told

I bury my feelings deeper than yours. But if you show me yours, I’ll show mine again. And one kiss changed everything.

My smile fades when you’re not around and my guard is up every time I’m with you. I’m scared you’ll hurt me. Scared I’ll fall for you ones again. You’ll run and I’ll stand alone. Another heart broken because of you.

And I fell and you ran. I’m all alone again, broken and bruised. You shouldn’t have come back. My smile has turned into tears. The pain is taking over and love is getting lost.