Don’t be too hard on yourself. Sometimes it can be hard to see how far you’ve come when everyone around you is pointing out your mistakes.
Remember the time you didn’t wear the hijab. The time when you still ate pork or drank a glass of alcohol. The time before Islam. Before you change you’re life.
I used to read a lot of forums on fb and at first it was fine but soon it began to drag me down. Every notification made me question my faith and there were times I wanted to cry because I felt like I was a bad muslim. That my afford wasn’t enough.
But do your best and that will be enough. Be proud of yourself! Be proud of how far you’ve come and pray that Allah will help you become the best muslim you can be. We are all on our own journey and for some it’s easy and for others it takes longer.
Find a balance and don’t lose yourself. Your faith should make you stronger and lift you up.
I can’t help but to wonder,
who is sitting on the other side and reading my thoughts?
Is there anyone out there listening?
For the longest time I’ve struggled to wake up on time before the sun rises, to stand before my Lord and pray. Waking up before everyone else, hearing the birds sing outside my window. Slowly seeing the darkness of the night fade away. But when I do it’s the best feeling in the world.
It’s going to be a struggle every single day, fighting the comfort of the warm bed and stop the dreams. But I also know that I only have my deeds left with me at the end. So these are some of the things that get me up in the morning and hopefully they can help you too.
Prayer – Remember that the morning prayer is the shortest and also the quickest since there is only two raka’ah. It doesn’t take long before you can snuggle up in your bed again and continue sleeping.
"Whoever prays Fajr is under the protection of Allah."
Shaytan – Fajr might be the hardest prayer since the devil is working extra hard to keep you from remembering your Lord. But remember Allah, do ablation and pray and the three knots that tie you to your bed at night are broken. And suddenly you’ve won the battle.
"The two cycles (rak'ats) of the morning prayer are better than
the world and what it contains."
Adhan – The sound of the adhan is a miracle in it self and I didn’t do this before a couple of days ago but you can’t ignore the sound of the adhan as your alarm in the morning. And if you still need help you should put your alarm clock far away from your bed so that you have to stand up.
You might have noticed that I was absent from social media yesterday from 10 p.m. I know I’m too much on my social media and now that I have extended my media platform for ‘my life as Elizabeth’ it gets even more addictive. I’ve added twitter and instagram but I need to find a balance and stop myself before it takes over my life.
That’s why I’m participating in a two week challenge to put away my phone from 10 p.m till I wake up. This will help me sleep better since the light from the screen actually makes you more awake. And I will have a deadline on when things have to be done. I see this as a massive challenge since I also have a full time job where I am most hours of the day. But hopefully it will give me a sense of balance.
Are you up for the challenge? Till the 1st of April I will challenge myself and hopefully it will automatically stay in my system.
Today was a mess, at least emotionally it was. I hardly write anything personal but I’ve felt so disconnected the last couple of days and only wrote the necessary. My head full with unanswered questions and my heart still holding on to the little bit of hope I have left. I’m not going to get into details but just writing that little phrase there helped. Talking helps, but nobody asks so there’s no one to tell my worries to. I write, but who reads my journals? That’s why it’s all just a mess.
I don’t want to complain because I’m having an amazing holiday and I’m so glad time stands a little bit more still here. Even now I still got 2 weeks left. But the thing that had me wanting to fly home right this second is fading and I’m scared. I’m scared I’ll come home to emptiness with a broken heart. I guess that’s what happens when you open your heart and you’re blinded by how much control another person has for your feelings. I could blame myself, that I dove in way too fast again. And all I’m left with now is checking my phone every five minutes.
When we love we love a lot. And even when the love is fading we hold on to the minimal love that is left and hope that our feelings will renew.
How much can you change for another person before losing yourself?