Today has physically and mentally been a long day. Even though it didn’t turn out the way I imagined, I’m so grateful for another year. You see, today is my birthday. 25 years ago my life started and I’m so grateful to have turned 25. Even though the number always scares me a little bit every year. But the thing is – I don’t feel 25. I guess it’s because I had this imagine of how 25 would feel and look like from a young age. And now that it has arrived, I don’t feel a day over 20, maybe 21. It’s like time stopped 5 years ago, even though it didn’t.
My plans today were having a huge breakfast, taking my son to daycare and then continuing the day with my daughter. I planned to meet my mum and we would have coffee and cake. I would take her home to my house and cut her hair, pick up my son and start dinner. I wanted my brother to come visit us and we would all have cake together, and maybe I would open some presents. All of this never happened because it couldn’t. And even though we plan, God plans as well and He is the Best of Planners.
Today didn’t happen has I imagined but I’m still so grateful for the family I’ve got, for my two healthy children who even at hard times bring a smile to my face, and for another year. God willing, I will have many more to come with my family by my side.
A 100 days ago I gave birth to a healthy baby girl. 4920 grams and 50 cm of pure love wrapped into one tiny human being. 3 months later I can see her smiling back at me when I look at her and all of my worries fade away. The world stops for minute and it’s just us. Then the noise from the outside world start tumbling in again but that smile remains. And after 9 long months she is finally kicking her feet of joy and excitement. There is nothing more beautiful and precious than to see your children grow up right beside you. And losing either one of them would be my greatest fear.
Tomorrow will be my first day back at work since going out on maternity leave 3 weeks before my baby girl came. My head is totally ready for it but my heart is still yearning to be with my child. I’m overwhelmed with emotions and don’t really know what to focus on. But I know it will be good for me, and I’m ready to take the leap.
The first Saturday in September, 3 months after giving birth, I’m back at it, and I’m ready.
These words are for you
As long as I can remember I’ve wanted to meet you
I don’t ever want you to think you’re not meant to be
Because this was planned by the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful
Wondering who you’ll become
Thinking about our time together
Hoping I can live up to your expectations
Wishing we’ll never fight –
Knowing fully that there will be days
were I’m not going to be your favourite
I pray you’ll never feel restrained by our religion
And grow up to love Islam & Allah
Knowing what our goal is
Because I want to meet you again in Paradise
I hope I can be the one you look up to –
The one you can turn to
I’m going to try my best
but so scared I’ll disappoint you,
that I’ll disappoint myself
Scared of the world you’ll grow up in
Knowing I won’t be able to protect you
Love – Time – Death
“We long for love, we wish we had more time, and we fear death.”
A universal connection we all share. And this relevant subject can touche anyone. Behind the movie is a sad and emotional story. But I do not want to talk about the storyline of the film, but rather what it represents and what it can teach us.
We have all lost something in our life. A loved one, a friend or maybe ourself. It’s a natural part of life but most of us would rather not speak about that vital part of life. It’s scary. And we cannot go around every day thinking that this might be our last day, but we should be more aware that it can be. Life is not fair. Some people live to see hundred years and others don’t even pass the age of six. Some die because of a disease and others of natural causes.
We don’t give life and we don’t take it, we only live it. It’s cruel and unfair this journey of life. And when it ends those who are left are the once who are hurting.
So try and find beauty in meaningful moments in a bad circumstance.