Another year gone by

As this year comes to an end, an end I don’t want, an end I’m not ready for – I look back. This year has been a blessing like every other year but this even more so. But it’s gone by far faster than any other and I’m scared for the new year. What will it bring? Will I find myself? Will I find love?

The love I found this year I feel I have to leave behind, something I don’t want to do. I’m not ready. I’m not ready to leave behind all the good things, all the memories. I’m just not ready.
I don’t think I’ll ever be able to forget the one person that made me feel so alive. The one person that captured my heart in every way. And if I’d had the chance I would do it all over again.

I can’t stop the time from flying by but it’s been truly amazing to have this week away from everyone and everything and just let time slow down.

I’m happy for the past year. I told myself several things that I would want to happen and they did. But I have to let go and look forward even though I know it’s going to be hard.

My New Years resolutions:
– being the best version of myself
– trust my life with God
– find love



How would you spend your last day on earth?

Until 6 months ago I would have said that I would find that one person that means the world to be and tell him that I love him with all my heart and I would do anything for him. Now I don’t know anymore…

What would you do if you only had 1 day left of living?

Sometimes I pray to God and ask him to give my life to someone else, someone who gives his life a meaning, a purpose. Someone that would live every day to the fullest. And in a brief second I feel my stomach tighten and my heart slowing down. And in that split second I take everything back because I don’t want to die. And I think the scariest thing in life right now is thinking about death. Espescially losing loved ones. But I’m still not living my life to the extent the way that I want to. I’m not breaking any rules or doing what I’ve always dreamed of doing. But if I knew I only had one day left I surely wouldn’t be sitting by my computer, wasting every second of my time. Because time is valuable, the most valuable thing we possess. We can’t buy time, but instead our time is pre ordered. Take your given time and make the most out of it!

But since it’s Christmas, remember how blessed you are. Tell someone you love them, smile, give your friend a hug or reach out for someone in need. But don’t let it slip away when the new year arrives, because I believe that the most giving part of life is giving back and helping others. And I promise you’ll be happy for the rest of your life.