I was missing something in my life and exactly two months ago I got it. I was missing a piece of me which I never realized before I had you in my life. Now I know that I will always have a piece of me in this world, even when I’m gone. You came into this world and change my life. Taught me things I didn’t know before. And even though it’s a vague memory now I want to remember your arrival as long as possible.
Whenever people talked about childbirth I understood that it was painful, but nothing can prepare you for the amount of pain you go through. Even I have forgotten it a little bit by now. I had to mentally prepare myself for the process but in the end that helped a great deal.
3 things I never knew
- Babies have exceptional strong jaws something I never knew before I started breastfeeding.
- A handful of wet diapers a day is great, but not to be confused with number two, something I always though. But number two once a day is more then enough for a little baby.
- While I knew childbirth would be painful I always thought I would be able to breath slow through the contractions. That was not the case and I ended up with extremely dry lips because I was breathing so fast.
Have a beautiful Sunday!
The sun is shining and it’s a beautiful day. I haven’t slept more than a couple of hours and I can feel my eyes tiering while I’m trying to get together a decent text for you. Somehow my brain is a little bit slow but that’s not so hard to understand with the interrupted sleep I got last night. I am determined to get this post published though and maybe even go for a walk later on. These are my six ‘must-haves’ for every new mom.
Nursing pads – this is a must! A total lifesaver if I can say so myself. You will probably be leaking when your milk arrives and these pads are necessary if you don’t want milk all over your clothes. I got mine from Jollyroom which you can wash and re-use.
Nipple cream – Personally I only needed this cream the first couple of days. Breast feeding is something your body has to get used to. There are loads of different creams you can choose from, but this did relieve some of the pain and soreness I got.
Nursing tank top – I don’t know a mum who doesn’t have this, cause it makes breast feeding even easier. You just clip down the one side of the tank top and you’ll have easy access. These tops can be bought anywhere but I got mine the cheapest at H&M.
Sanitary pads – After given birth you will bleed, a lot! So be prepared and buy a hand full of pads cause they will run out as fast as your new born baby changes diapers. Some moms have also made these “padsicles“ which supposedly relieves even more pain.
Breast pump – This is great if you want to freeze down or save some milk for later. I got mine from Philips, even though it was pricy, it’s worth the money. I don’t know what I would do without it. It’s great when you’re out on trips and you don’t want to breast feed in public, or if your partner wants to feed the baby once in a while. A small bottle comes with it and you can choose if you want to plug it in or use batteries. You can choose three different speeds and it takes about five minutes to pump out a small bottle.
Bio oil –This was something I bought after my pregnancy but I wishI had it during as well. An oil you can use for scars, stretch marks or dry skin which I bought at my local drugstore. Just be sure to use it twice a day for three months.
The last 48 hours have been long and exhausting. The quilt drives me crazy and before I lay my head down I think about the things I didn’t managed to do. I beat myself up, and I’m bruised from the inside out. I rage at the smallest things but put on a smile whenever I’m outside. I don’t recognizes myself anymore. I’m strangled by this life and wish for the time it will end. This is not the life I want to be living, waiting for death to arrive just to feel the release of the stinging pain.
I know this only took a minute to read but it helps. Every unsaid word can be written down forever, and that helps. Take a big breath, and don’t stop breathing.
Holding the tears inside cause I don’t want to feel anything. When no one sees I start to cry but the pain never fades.