If you didn’t know already, I never celebrated Christmas. I grew up in a Christian cult and the only thing we were allowed to celebrated was our birthdays. From Easter to Christmas and all in between were forbidden. I always made up lies to tell my friends at school when I was younger. I remember everyone came back from Christmas break raving about their new toys and all the presents they got. And I always felt so out of place, like I didn’t belong. How could I when I didn’t get anything. So I decorated the truth. I scraped together all the small bits and pieces I received during the December month and often said that that was what I got for Christmas. I even told lies about what we did and ate on Christmas eve. I was ashamed of what people might think if I told them the truth. The truth being that I’ve never celebrated it.
Looking back at it know, I see it as a blessing in disguise. I don’t have to say goodbye from a celebration that I never took part of. I don’t have to lie to my family that I cannot make their festivities. Because honestly there are non, even now over a decade after leaving the cult. I don’t have to remove my hijab to fit into their standards. I don’t have to navigate through the dinner to avoid eating pork. Today I saw the huge blessing I was given and somewhat advantage.
My heart goes out to all of you reverts who have found Islam and the beauty in it, but are still trying to navigate your new life with your old. I pray that Allah swt makes it easy for you and softens the hearts of your families so that you don’t have to do something against your religion and faith, to keep familie ties aligned. May Allah swt reward you for your efforts and insha’Allah it will get easier, ameen.
The end is here and I’m left with an empty and sad feeling inside me. I couldn’t really put my finger on it before but now I know that it’s because our blessed month of Ramadan has ended. We’ve lost a dear friend and we can only pray that we’ll be here to greet our beloved month next year.
I was so scared before Ramadan started and was scared I wouldn’t be able to fast and work at the same time. Though it was challenging and tiring at times, I felt an empowerment and for every day it became easier even though the fasting hours became longer.
Let’s take our good deeds beyond this month and keep it in our mind that everyday can be like a day in Ramadan.
I pray that Allah will accept all of our good deeds this past Ramadan & may He forgive you & I for our sins. May Allah bless & guide you. Ameen.
The difference between a believer and a disbeliever is his salah.
My heart only feels peace when I lay my head down towards You
I can’t stop even if I wanted too
Because right here and now I’m safe
Before I raise up again and ask for Your forgiveness
Even though I know I can never say enough
Know that everything I do, I do for You
For the longest time I’ve struggled to wake up on time before the sun rises, to stand before my Lord and pray. Waking up before everyone else, hearing the birds sing outside my window. Slowly seeing the darkness of the night fade away. But when I do it’s the best feeling in the world.
It’s going to be a struggle every single day, fighting the comfort of the warm bed and stop the dreams. But I also know that I only have my deeds left with me at the end. So these are some of the things that get me up in the morning and hopefully they can help you too.
Prayer – Remember that the morning prayer is the shortest and also the quickest since there is only two raka’ah. It doesn’t take long before you can snuggle up in your bed again and continue sleeping.
"Whoever prays Fajr is under the protection of Allah."
Shaytan – Fajr might be the hardest prayer since the devil is working extra hard to keep you from remembering your Lord. But remember Allah, do ablation and pray and the three knots that tie you to your bed at night are broken. And suddenly you’ve won the battle.
"The two cycles (rak'ats) of the morning prayer are better than
the world and what it contains."
Adhan – The sound of the adhan is a miracle in it self and I didn’t do this before a couple of days ago but you can’t ignore the sound of the adhan as your alarm in the morning. And if you still need help you should put your alarm clock far away from your bed so that you have to stand up.