I miss the nights in Ramadan. When the night falls deep into a sleep and you are alone with your Lord. I miss the feeling of completely serving my Lord with the intentions to only please Him.
It saddens my heart that for each year it seems like we lose more and more people to this dunya. Don’t feel tempted to follow the footsteps of Shaytan. He only sits on the Straight Path to send you astray. And his whispers are only filled with lies and deception.
Hold on to that last string of faith and recharge your imaan. Trust me, I know it can be hard. How tempting isn’t this world, with all it’s beautifications. But one thing is for sure; it will end and everything you have left are your deeds. So make them many and make them good. God willing, the good will overweight the bad on the day of Judgement and our faces will be shinning bright.
You tell me I am oppressed because of the way I dress.
You tell me I am oppressed because I cover my hair.
You tell me I am oppressed because I choose not to hug nor kiss you.
Now you are outside covering your face and your hands.
And you neither touch nor kiss someone,
because you are scared of the dangerous corona virus.
Science is now telling you how to dress and act with others.
Allah has always told me how to dress and act with others.
You are afraid of the virus.
I am afraid of Allah.
You want to be saved from the epidemic.
I want to be saved from the hell fire.
Now who of us is oppressed?
Make your purpose to strive for success
Paradise where you’ll rest
And make the Angels know your name
Prayer is the only thing separating a believer from a disbeliever
Fight the urge to fall in love with this worldly life
Because it will end for each and everyone of us
No one can escape it, so you tell me; what are we striving for?
Success and recognition from strangers?
Or the supreme goal with our Creator?
Faith can be the anchor to our core belief
But often invisible to the outside world
But I carry my faith on my head every single day
And I’m never going to do it for anybody else –
– than for the purpose of saving myself from this worldly life.
Maybe you’re drifting apart for a reason. Those missed calls or dinners where no one ever showed up or bothered to let you know they’re not coming. Maybe it’s for a reason. It’s part of a bigger picture – one that you might not understand right now. Your paths are not the same. You grow up and sometimes you grow apart from the people you once used to be. Even though it saddens your heart to know the truth, you know that the people you’re leaving behind are not good for your future.
Days, weeks and even months go by without a call or text. And you start to wonder if you ever meant anything to these people or were you just a moment in time for them. You find yourself always being the one on the other end, reaching out for contact but they hardly ever seem to find the time for you. And you release it’s a dead end.
You’re suppose to feel this overwhelming sense of joy when you’re pregnant. And anything else would just be unusual.
Well, it’s not. Your body goes through A LOT of changes in only 9 months. And even though you might be the only one knowing it for the first months, you’ll rapidly start to grow and show. And you can’t make your body stop getting bigger. You can exercise and eat as healthy as one only can with daily cravings, but in the end, you’ll get big.
You’ll hear comments like; “You’ve gotten so big. Are you sure there aren’t two in there”. It’s frustrating cause it’s like no one knows what you’re actually going through. And who knows if you’ll ever get back to the size you were before. The invisible pressure is definitely there.
Even as this is my second child I’m much bigger than what I was with my first. I keep telling myself that I’ll get back to my ‘normal’ self and this in it self is a miracle. But as much as it is a miracle, and I am truly grateful to be a mother again, I can’t help to feel like I’m not myself.
I don’t feel sexy in my body, I don’t feel as confident. Most of the time I feel bloated and like I have to pee every hour. I’ll never have my abs back to normal and my bellybutton will most likely not go back to it’s normal self. And I feel guilty for feeling this way. Because my body is getting bigger and I don’t like looking at myself in the mirror, even though I’m creating a human being inside of me.
Patience. Such a sweet word which we all want more of. When we don’t receive the things we’ve wanted for the longest time or when things don’t go our way, we forget that God tests us with sabr.
Patience is bitter but sweet because when we receive our greatest wish we feel so satisfied. We know that all the time waiting was worth it, because God has given us an even greater gift than what we could imagine.
Patience is hard because we’re looking forward to something that we feel we need or are suppost to get but when we don’t, we always start asking why. Imagine if we’d get everything we wished for right at the moment we asked for it. We would stop being appreciative, even more so than we already are today.
We might even wish for something that isn’t good for us and never will be. We might want something that will never reach us even if it was right in front of us. We have to keep our trust and belief in God. He has it all planed out in the greatest way and He knows what’s good for you and what isn’t.
Keep on praying and never, ever lose hope in God.
The deep, dark thoughts suddenly surface again.
And I wonder if it’s shaytan whispering in my ear repeatedly.
Or is this from my own self?
I feel bruised and beaten on the inside.
Why do I self destructed every good thing in my life?
But just know that Shaytan doesn’t attack the lost ones.
Their case is done.
He sits on the straight path to mislead the believers.
So don’t give up dear one.
The end is near and so is your reward, in sha Allah.
My baby boy
My pride and joy
How could I ever imagine a life without you
If I could I would protect you from any harm that could affect you
Your smile lights up my day
Even bad days you get me through
My light, my sunshine
What would I do without you
I could never imagine a life without you now
And I pray that I can get a life long with you by my side