A blessing in disguise

If you didn’t know already, I never celebrated Christmas. I grew up in a Christian cult and the only thing we were allowed to celebrated was our birthdays. From Easter to Christmas and all in between were forbidden. I always made up lies to tell my friends at school when I was younger. I remember everyone came back from Christmas break raving about their new toys and all the presents they got. And I always felt so out of place, like I didn’t belong. How could I when I didn’t get anything. So I decorated the truth. I scraped together all the small bits and pieces I received during the December month and often said that that was what I got for Christmas. I even told lies about what we did and ate on Christmas eve. I was ashamed of what people might think if I told them the truth. The truth being that I’ve never celebrated it.  

Looking back at it know, I see it as a blessing in disguise. I don’t have to say goodbye from a celebration that I never took part of. I don’t have to lie to my family that I cannot make their festivities. Because honestly there are non, even now over a decade after leaving the cult. I don’t have to remove my hijab to fit into their standards. I don’t have to navigate through the dinner to avoid eating pork. Today I saw the huge blessing I was given and somewhat advantage. 

My heart goes out to all of you reverts who have found Islam and the beauty in it, but are still trying to navigate your new life with your old. I pray that Allah swt makes it easy for you and softens the hearts of your families so that you don’t have to do something against your religion and faith, to keep familie ties aligned. May Allah swt reward you for your efforts and insha’Allah it will get easier, ameen.

Elizabeth

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All good things must come to an end

The end is here and I’m left with an empty and sad feeling inside me. I couldn’t really put my finger on it before but now I know that it’s because our blessed month of Ramadan has ended. We’ve lost a dear friend and we can only pray that we’ll be here to greet our beloved month next year.

I was so scared before Ramadan started and was scared I wouldn’t be able to fast and work at the same time. Though it was challenging and tiring at times, I felt an empowerment and for every day it became easier even though the fasting hours became longer.

Let’s take our good deeds beyond this month and keep it in our mind that everyday can be like a day in Ramadan.

I pray that Allah will accept all of our good deeds this past Ramadan & may He forgive you & I for our sins. May Allah bless & guide you. Ameen.

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Elizabeth

Reminder to all reverts out there

Don’t be too hard on yourself. Sometimes it can be hard to see how far you’ve come when everyone around you is pointing out your mistakes.

Remember the time you didn’t wear the hijab. The time when you still ate pork or drank a glass of alcohol. The time before Islam. Before you change you’re life.

I used to read a lot of forums on fb and at first it was fine but soon it began to drag me down. Every notification made me question my faith and there were times I wanted to cry because I felt like I was a bad muslim. That my afford wasn’t enough.

But do your best and that will be enough. Be proud of yourself! Be proud of how far you’ve come and pray that Allah will help you become the best muslim you can be. We are all on our own journey and for some it’s easy and for others it takes longer.

Find a balance and don’t lose yourself. Your faith should make you stronger and lift you up.

Elizabeth