A blessing in disguise 

A blessing in disguise 

If you didn’t know already, I never celebrated Christmas. I grew up in a Christian cult and the only thing we were allowed to celebrated was our birthdays. From Easter to Christmas and all in between were forbidden. I always made up lies to tell my friends at school when I was younger. I remember everyone came back from Christmas break raving about their new toys and all the presents they got. And I always felt so out of place, like I didn’t belong. How could I when I didn’t get anything. So I decorated the truth. I scraped together all the small bits and pieces I received during the December month and often said that that was what I got for Christmas. I even told lies about what we did and ate on Christmas eve. I was ashamed of what people might think if I told them the truth. The truth being that I’ve never celebrated it.  

Looking back at it know, I see it as a blessing in disguise. I don’t have to say goodbye from a celebration that I never took part of. I don’t have to lie to my family that I cannot make their festivities. Because honestly there are non, even now over a decade after leaving the cult. I don’t have to remove my hijab to fit into their standards. I don’t have to navigate through the dinner to avoid eating pork. Today I saw the huge blessing I was given and somewhat advantage. 

My heart goes out to all of you reverts who have found Islam and the beauty in it, but are still trying to navigate your new life with your old. I pray that Allah swt makes it easy for you and softens the hearts of your families so that you don’t have to do something against your religion and faith, to keep familie ties aligned. May Allah swt reward you for your efforts and insha’Allah it will get easier, ameen.

Elizabeth

My faith is between me and my Lord

My faith is between me and my Lord

So I just got a comment on YouTube where someone told me that I don’t dress appropriately for being a muslim and that it is not the way that Prophet Muhammad (saw – peace be upon him) said women should dress. I immediately felt attacked and after thinking twice about it I ended up deleting the comment. But here I am 5 minutes later thinking about it. That’s the thing though – it may be gone from my platform it’s still in my life.

I understand the need to comment and let people know what is right and what is wrong, but on the other hand it’s not always your place. You might think it’s your responsibility, but you have no idea how hard it is for me to not only put on the hijab but to dress modestly all together. It wasn’t before a couple of months ago that I started slowly to cover my hair. And there was no other reason than for Allah (God).
You may be raised in a muslim community or family and it might be second nature to cover all together and only where the jilbab or abaya & hijab. But for me, someone who is raised in a non-muslim family in the west, who just recently converted, it’s not easy. I have struggled so much with it to the point where I didn’t want to come near it. And you telling me that my effort is not enough is not your place.
Please think twice before you think to comment on a subject that is essentially between me and my God. At the end of the day He knows my effort and what is in my heart, and that’s all that counts.

Astaghfirullah for my past
Alhamdulillah for today
Insha’Allah for my future

Elizabeth