Pregnancy & Body Image

Pregnancy & Body Image

You’re suppose to feel this overwhelming sense of joy when you’re pregnant. And anything else would just be unusual.

Well, it’s not. Your body goes through A LOT of changes in only 9 months. And even though you might be the only one knowing it for the first months, you’ll rapidly start to grow and show. And you can’t make your body stop getting bigger. You can exercise and eat as healthy as one only can with daily cravings, but in the end, you’ll get big.

You’ll hear comments like; “You’ve gotten so big. Are you sure there aren’t two in there”. It’s frustrating cause it’s like no one knows what you’re actually going through. And who knows if you’ll ever get back to the size you were before. The invisible pressure is definitely there.

Even as this is my second child I’m much bigger than what I was with my first. I keep telling myself that I’ll get back to my ‘normal’ self and this in it self is a miracle. But as much as it is a miracle, and I am truly grateful to be a mother again, I can’t help to feel like I’m not myself.

I don’t feel sexy in my body, I don’t feel as confident. Most of the time I feel bloated and like I have to pee every hour. I’ll never have my abs back to normal and my bellybutton will most likely not go back to it’s normal self. And I feel guilty for feeling this way. Because my body is getting bigger and I don’t like looking at myself in the mirror, even though I’m creating a human being inside of me.


Elizabeth

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2018 Rewind

2018 Rewind

1th to 5th of January – Edinburgh, Scotland
Like most years I was eager to discover more of the world and I was happy to finally book my plane ticket to Scotland where I would visit my cousin. She’s the one person in my family that I can actually share everything with. I got driven to the airport & when I was about to say goodbye I chocked on my own tears. I was so sad to leave my son behind for the first time but at the same time I was so ready to do so. I couldn’t even give him a kiss cause I knew I would be balling my eyes out if I did. After an almost tearful goodbye and very empty flight I was in Edinburgh for the next 5 days. Blogpost here.

8th of January – Last day as a hairdresser
After a relaxing start to the new year I found myself back at work Monday the 8th. To our surprise my boss had reported the salon where I worked at to bankruptcy. Suddenly the stable job I had was out of my reach. The next morning the salon was permantly closed. I walked out the front door Monday night never to see my colleagues again. 

15th of January – Jacob’s 1st birthday
One week later my son had his first birthday. He was turning one and I decided to invite my family and best friend to the celebration. Inspired by my British holiday I tried to bake scones which turned out to taste like bread. Nevertheless we had cupcakes, banana cake, coffee and my son had a few presents. 

15th of March – Started my weekly vlogs
Being unemployed for the last weeks made me itching to do something creative. I still made my weekly videos on Youtube but I wanted to up my game. I started filming weekly vlogs. For now they’ve only lasted 30 weeks but it was a good go and maybe I’ll feel the need to start again in the future. See my first weekly vlog here. 

30th of March – Celebrated my mum’s birthday @ Latter
My mum turned yet another year older & my brother and I went out with her to a comedy club. Right in the middle of easter week and to our surprise the place was full. Some good but mostly inappropriate jokes where made and I wasn’t in my bed until the early night of the next day.

23rd of April – Started a new job
After almost 3 month of job searching, countless turn downs and a handful of interviews I finally goy my dream job. At the time all I wanted to do was work in retail & I couldn’t believe my luck when my former boss called me to congratulate me on the position. I was over the moon with a great raise, personal discounts and a great boss. I felt like this was the beginning of a new career.

17th of May – My 3rd Ramadan
Three weeks into my new job, Ramadan was yet again upon us. A time I was looking forward to but anxious to meet since this would be my first Ramadan where I would fast for 30 days. Watch my Ramadan preparation video here. 

28th of June – Hottest summer yet
Living in the northern part of the globe it would have you believe that our summers are mild and bearable, maybe to the point where you’d say this isn’t summer weather at all. Well, this year that all changed. We had around 25-30 degrees from about May to July. Though most people couldn’t believe their luck, I was most nervous for the drought while sweeting buckets 5 minutes after I’ve left the house (almost).

24th of July – We bought our first motorcycle
A long dream of mine was to get my motorcycle licenses and when my husband joined in on that dream we made it a reality. He had passed his driver’s exam and the only logical conclusion was to buy a new MC. So we did, a Yamaha MT 03.

9th to 12th of August – Venice, Italy
I was itching for another holiday and Venice had been on my ‘to-see’ list for a good while now. So when my mum was on board with the idea and I finally found a dissent hotel – we booked our flight and were on our way. Even more hotter and humid than you can imagine but so beautiful. A lot of tourism but I’m very glad I got to check that place of my bucket list. We had absolute nothing planned that week, other than eating a lot of spagetti, pizza, drinking amazing Italian coffee and gelato. Watch my holiday video here.

3rd of October – Our 2nd positive pregnancy test
Since the mid of summer we decided to expand our family yet again and actually ‘planned’ our 2nd pregnancy. I always knew I wanted my children to be close in age so when I finally took a pregnancy test, after being 1 week late, it was the perfect time. Now I’m 18 weeks pregnant and so eager to know how our new life will look like.

26th of October – Finally got our marriage licences 
After 3 years my husband and I finally went down to city hall & legally got married by Norwegian law. We had our Nikkah on the 24th of October 2015 but I wanted to wait until I was at a better place with my family to tell them that this was the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. It was a Friday afternoon, my husband & son and myself went down there and 10 minutes later we were officially married by the eyes of the law. 


Elizabeth

Spring is on it’s way

Spring is on it’s way

Can you believe it’s already April? My winter shoes are finally packed away and the mountain of snow outside our driveway is finally melting away. I hope I can keep my boots packed away until November and fingers crossed – spring is on it’s way!

I know I haven’t posed anything for a while. It often becomes too much and I get overwhelmed by the weekly things I want to accomplish. Unfortunately my blog is the one suffering from all of this. But I do have to say I’ve missed the typing sound while my fingers glid over the keyboard. I defiantly want to continue on writing and sharing my journey here as well. At the moment tough I do upload twice a week on my YouTube channel – once on Sunday where I do fashion, beauty or life related videos and once on Wednesday where I upload a weekly vlog. But I must say that the bar is set up high for us beginners and when I see all of these bloggers doing the most out of an instagram profile, I never feel like my contact is good enough. But in time, insha’Allah, I will get there.

For now this has to do – using my son’s stroller as a tripod and setting my camera on self timer mode. Now I can’t wait to get my head down on my pillow and get a good nights sleep.

Elizabeth

30 questions & answers

30 questions & answers

  1. What was the first though you had when you looked in the mirror this morning? Wow, my hair is fluffy. I loved it when it’s a lot of volume, washed and cleaned from the night before.
  2. Who did you kiss last? My son. Can’t resist those round checks.
  3. What’s your favorite quote? This too shall pass.’
  4. Favorite planet? Earth.
  5. Who’s the 4th person on your missed called list? My dad.img_6076-e1516535969742.jpg
  6. What’s your ring tone? The unoriginal iPhone ringtone.
  7. What are you wearing? Still in my PJs.
  8. Do you put yourself in a box? Maybe sometimes.
  9. What brand are your shoes? Bianco.
  10. What’s best – a dark or a bright room? Bright. I need a lot of light. Especially now when it’s winter and the days are so short.
  11.  Is the glas half full or half empty? I like to believe it’s half full, but somehow I always say half empty.
  12. If you’re alone in a room with two beds, which bed do you choose? Depends on which one I’m drawn to first.
  13. What did you do around midnight last night? Fall asleep.
  14. What does it say in your last message inbox? ‘Leaving now :)^^’img_6077
  15. Who is the last person you saw today? My son before I put him down for a nap.
  16. What word do you use over and over? ‘Serr!?’ Which is equal to ‘really!?’
  17. Last movie you watched? ‘‘A bad moms Christmas’. Don’t judge, I didn’t find anything else. bad moms
  18. What’s the last hairy thing yo touched? My hair.
  19. Your last browser history? Ikea, looking for child safety things.Skjermbilde 2018-01-21 kl. 12.45.24
  20. How many film rolls do you have laying around? None. Thank God for digital photos.
  21. Your favorite age so far? Maybe 21 or 18, when I just got my licenses and felt as free as a little bird.
  22. Who’s your worst enemy? Myself.
  23. What’s on your background on your computer? My son.
  24. What’s the first thing you said to someone today? Something like ‘why are you not asleep yet’.
  25. Choose between a million dollars or the ability to fly? Ability to fly. Just imagine how fast I would get to places.
  26. Do you like someone? Yes.
  27. Last song you listened to? Maher Zain – The Chosen Oneskjermbilde-2018-01-21-kl-12-46-32-e1516535648723.png
  28. If the last person you didn’t know got mad and angry at you, what would you do? Walk away.
  29. What car do you drive? Volkswagen Polo 2003
  30. What’s the closest thing to your left foot right now? A chair.

A fun little exercise for a lazy Sunday. Enjoy the rest of your day.

Elizabeth

Reminder to all reverts out there

Reminder to all reverts out there

Don’t be too hard on yourself. Sometimes it can be hard to see how far you’ve come when everyone around you is pointing out your mistakes.

Remember the time you didn’t wear the hijab. The time when you still ate pork or drank a glass of alcohol. The time before Islam. Before you change you’re life.

I used to read a lot of forums on fb and at first it was fine but soon it began to drag me down. Every notification made me question my faith and there were times I wanted to cry because I felt like I was a bad muslim. That my afford wasn’t enough.

But do your best and that will be enough. Be proud of yourself! Be proud of how far you’ve come and pray that Allah will help you become the best muslim you can be. We are all on our own journey and for some it’s easy and for others it takes longer.

Find a balance and don’t lose yourself. Your faith should make you stronger and lift you up.

Elizabeth

Worst week in my life

Worst week in my life

Ok, maybe I’m exaggerating, but I’ve not had the best 48 hours. Everything went downhill since Wednesday night and now I’m sitting here on the living room floor with the worst headache since this afternoon.

I don’t want to keep on dragging this complain wagon any longer, and I will try to look at life from a more positive way.


Even though we don’t celebrate Christmas, I do want to give something back to my family, especially my mum. And since this is a time of year where people usually meet, I ended up buying some gifts for my family.
It was most natural for me to buy something hair related since I work at a salon. So both my brothers will receive a shampoo. My oldest brother will also get a 3D puzzle I thought was so cool, maybe even something I should have bought for myself. And my brother in between will get a sports t-shirt. I still have my parents but I’ve got them covered with something.
I’m off to bed hoping to sleep away this awful headache. I have to be up, ready and back at the salon by 9 am, so good night.

Elizabeth

In desperate need of sleep

In desperate need of sleep

What was suppose to be a stressless evening turned out to be far from that. My own fault really, cause I always get so invested in projects I do and have zero patience with myself. I always wish that I can learn everything at once and it just works right away, but it usually never does.

Today I spent my hours from 8 pm till now in front of the computer. Actually two computers. Photoshop on one and YouTube on the other. I was determined to finish a new profile picture, channel art and a watermark.

I’m only 100% happy with the new channel art, the other two I still have to tweak and fix. Other than that I have a headache and I’m in desperate need of sleep. But I guarantee you, I’ll be laying in bed another hour before I fall asleep. At least that’s what happened last night.

Good night

Elizabeth

Back at work & feeling lazy

Back at work & feeling lazy

I’ve been back at work the last two days after having (almost) a one year break. It’s safe to say I was quite nervous on Monday. Luckily I eased myself into it, only working a couple of hours a day and my first ‘customer’ was a college. Yesterday though, I had 2 paying customers. It felt like it went in slow motion, especially the first cut, but I managed to be done in time.

Today I have a day off and even though I feel like I do something ever single day, whether it’s laundry, cleaning or just look after my son, I can’t help to feel lazy. I don’t know why and I wish I didn’t beat myself up over it. It’s like everyone around me is so productive and I’m not even halfway to my goals.


We did manage to create a new office space so hopefully the creativity will just be flowing in this room. I really want to start sewing again reguallary and actually finish pieces I love and would want to wear. I have some huge ideas, I just don’t know how to get them down to paper and where to start. Fixing my serger to the right stitch lengths has also been a battle. I still have to figure out what the right settings are and how in the world I’m going to use it probably.

Wish me luck!  

Elizabeth

Ethnicity Tag

Ethnicity Tag

What is your ethnicity?
Both my dad and my mom are german so that would make me 100% german. Though I was born in Sweden and never lived in Germany.
When was the last time you visited your country?
I think it was November 2014 when we all got together and said our goodbyes to my Oma. We used to visit at least once a year before that, mostly in the summer but sometimes also in the winter.
One ethnic food you love the most?
Käsespätzle without a doubt, with lots and lots of cheese.
One household item that represents your culture?
I’m not big on culture and I’ve never cared for german culture, but something that does scream Germany is maybe a Nußknacker, even though we never had one in our home, or big beer glasses.
What part of the country are you from?
Bayern – both my dad and on my mom’s side.  
Can you speak the language of your ethnicity?
Yes, I can, though the grammar is still quite hard to get a hang off.

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Maybe you learned something new about me. Now I challenge you to do this tag! Leave a link to your blog in the comments so that I can read your answers.

Elizabeth